"If we really had to talk more than listen, then we would have two mouths and only one ear," said Mark Twain. Jumping into the conversation and putting ourselves in the center of the action are constants in both the private and business world today, so it seems that we talk so much that we have forgotten what it means to listen. Here are 10 qualities of good listeners.
1. They prepare to listen.
Good listeners prepare for listening by making sure they are relaxed and thinking about the point of the upcoming conversation before they start. Then they silence their wild thoughts ("what's for lunch", "what do I have to do tomorrow"...) and focus on the fact that now is the time to listen and nothing else.
2. They remove all distractions.
Before a conversation, good listeners remove anything that could disturb them while listening and distract them from the interlocutor. Therefore, they silence the phone and are present and focused on the 100% while listening to the interlocutor.
3. They pay attention to non-verbal communication.
Good listeners know that not only the words of the interlocutor are important, but also the tone in which they are said and their body language. Only in this way can they capture the whole essence of what was said.
4. They visualize the interlocutor's words.
During the conversation, they maintain their focus on the interlocutor by visualizing his words. In this way, their focus is on the message of what is said and not, say, on how they will respond to what is said.
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5. They listen openly and without prejudice.
Good listeners approach every conversation with an open mind and without personal prejudices. During the conversation, they try to put themselves in the shoes of the interlocutor, and at the same time understand the situation in an objective way. They do not judge the interlocutor.
6. They encourage the interlocutor while speaking.
Good listeners let the interlocutor know that they are interested in what he has to say, so they encourage him while speaking, mainly by nodding and unobtrusive interjections (oh, really, of course...), which express empathy, while maintaining appropriate eye contact.
7. Silence does not make them feel uncomfortable.
Good listeners are completely relaxed in silence and know that silence gives them the opportunity to think about what has been said. Thus, they do not panic and try to fill the moments of silence with meaningless talk, but use these moments to prepare a quality answer.
8. They have an appropriate response to what is said.
Good listeners do not remain unresponsive to the interlocutor's words, but instead show empathy, ask appropriate sub-questions and, depending on what is said, respond with an appropriate facial expression. In this way, they let the interlocutor know that he was heard and that his words did not fall on deaf ears.
9. They are good leaders.
Research results have shown that good leaders are always good listeners. This is also confirmed by the famous leader Richard Branson, who says that a leader must always listen more than talk, because the best ideas can only be born by keeping our ears constantly "on the stalks".
10. Patience.
The 21st century is the century of everything instant and fast. We want everything immediately and now, while forgetting the greatest virtue: being patient. Good listeners know that a pause does not mean that the interlocutor has finished, so they do not interrupt or finish the interlocutor's sentences.
