Why do some loves never work out? Why, despite all the effort and hope, do some relationships just not survive?
Love is one of the most beautiful, but also the most complex emotions we can experience. At first everything looks so simple - you fall in love, you feel butterflies in your stomach, everything seems perfect. But love is not always enough to make a relationship work.
Over the years, I've come to realize that there are deeper reasons why some loves don't last. After long conversations with myself, after many shed tears and countless sleepless nights, I finally understood, why our love story didn't have a happy ending.
Here are the reasons that led me to this realization, the reasons that help me understand why.
1. You didn't love me from the bottom of your soul
Love should be something we feel deep in our hearts. But you never really felt our connection was right. Your mind couldn't connect the dots that would lead you back to me and you were indifferent. You cannot be indifferent in love.
Love requires passion, sincerity and dedication, which you lacked. I felt like a last resort, not your first choice, which broke my heart over and over again.
2. I always tried too hard
I tried to get him to notice me, to love me, to appreciate me. Now I understand that I should have seen it for myself. You can't force someone to see your value if they choose not to.
Every time I tried harder, I lost a piece of myself. I became a person I barely recognized, a person who gave up her dreams and desires to please you. And you took it for granted.
3. I clung to "one day"
One magical day when you'll finally realize how wonderful our love could be and how we truly belong together. That day kept me going when I had nothing else to believe in - now I'm thankful that day never happened.
I lived in an illusion, in a false hope that kept me in a vicious circle of pain and disappointment. Now I know that it is better to live in the truth, no matter how painful it may be.
4. You didn't really know me
You didn't know my weaknesses, you didn't know what makes me laugh, you didn't understand why certain things scare me, and you didn't know what makes me feel safe. I was a puzzle to you that you never tried to solve.
You didn't delve into my thoughts and feelings, you didn't make an effort to really get to know me. But without real knowledge and understanding, love cannot grow and flourish.
5. We didn't have the same views on home
We didn't share the same vision of what home should look like, we didn't share the same warmth and we didn't share the same vows. While I dreamed of a warm home full of love and laughter, you had completely different ideas.
Our dreams and goals were too different for us to find a common path. I persisted in the hope that we would get along, but in reality we only drifted further and further apart.
6. Your friends believed in us
They were rooting for us, for our story to come true, they were rooting for an epic love story of two broken people finding a way to fix each other. They didn't know that two broken people can sometimes break into pieces.
Their faith in our love was strong, but it could not have existed without your dedication and will. Your friends believed in us more than you did.
7. You introduced me to the topic
Your love was like a tunnel, the further I went into it, the darker it got. I thought this was what love looked like from the inside, but I knew it was a lie I created so I could stay. I wanted to escape into a love that offers a whole galaxy of twinkling lights.
I found myself in a darkness where there was no hope or light, and it was slowly destroying me. I didn't want the kind of love that would pull me into the abyss.
8. I didn't listen
I didn't listen to my friends, my family, your warning signs - you. It's my fault that I counted on you to pick me up when I was down.
I lived in denial, hoping for something that was not possible. I was taught that love is blind, but now I know that I should listen more to my heart and intuition.
9. Our words were lost in translation
You never knew how to interpret my messages and I couldn't decipher yours. We were reading the same book in two different languages and couldn't find a translator for each other. Communication was our biggest obstacle that we couldn't overcome.
Words were lost in confusion, misunderstandings piled up and our connection crumbled.
10. The distance was increasing
The kilometers became longer and the nights colder, we slowly drove in different directions; you back to the desert and me back to earth. Our maps never aligned.
On the way back I felt how the poison is leaving my body and realized that our paths were meant to cross for a reason – to find my happiness somewhere else… far away from each other. The distance between us was not only physical, but also emotional and mental. I persisted in fighting for something that had no foundation.
The most painful part of this experience was realizing that love is not always enough. Sometimes we try to hold on to something that is doomed from the start. It's hard to admit, but I realize you had to leave so I could find my true path.
It's never easy to end a story you've poured your heart and soul into. I felt lost, cheated and desperate when I realized that our love had no future. But now that I look back, I see that it was part of my journey, part of my learning and growth.
I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned and the strength I have gained. I realized that I am worthy of love, which will lift me up and not destroy me.
Our story has ended, but now a new chapter is opening. A chapter in which I am stronger, wiser and ready for true love. A love that will come naturally and stay because it will be the right thing to do.
Our love was a lesson, not fate. And for that I am grateful.
