If you find yourself repeatedly finding yourself in relationships that are anything but healthy, you can at least take some comfort in the fact that you're far from alone. A lot of research has been done precisely with the aim of helping people find out as soon as possible whether their relationship is turning toxic and how to prevent it. We have prepared for you the 3 main differences between healthy and toxic relationships and ways to ensure that your relationship is healthy and long-lasting.
1. (I)gnoring the five love languages
The Five Love Languages Theory it is considered one of the most fundamental when we talk about the science dedicated to intimate relationships. He developed it dr. Gary Chapman and soon it was introduced into their practice by other therapists and experts.
Because we are human to each other different, are also different ways, with which our partner makes us feel loved ones. Therefore, in a healthy relationship, it is essential that find out, which language of love your partner speaks and in what way you will feel his love most easily yourself. We know 5 love languages: words of affirmation, actions, gifting, quality time and physical touch. You can read more about them here.
How to find out which is that way, which will make your partner the happiest? We definitely suggest that you tackle the task in the easiest way: simply tell your partner about his feelings ask.
He is in a healthy relationship honesty very important while unhealthy relationships are rife games and decryption, what the other meant by his reaction. With this, if you want pleasant and long-lasting relationships, you must to give up. You and your partner organize the time that will be dedicated to you only you and which will take place no distractions. Then the theory of love, especially if he may not know it yet, present and let him know that you most want him to be by your side felt loved. Also tell him what is the most makes you happy. Your partner can't read your mind, and it would be a shame if he could tried, and you would feel like he doesn't feel love for you at all.
2. The way you handle misunderstandings
Disagreements are something that occurs in to each relationship, even the healthiest ones. There is no man to be with you shared opinion about absolutely every thing and also no one can say that he has not done it in a relationship no error. Therefore, it is important to deal with disagreements and misunderstandings the correct way.
The first thing you will do in a healthy relationship is give your opinion express clearly. Many are afraid of conflicts and are in favor of avoiding them avoided, ready to do just about anything. By doing so, unfortunately, they increase both their own dissatisfaction as a possibility that they will be theirs emotions erupted and turned an innocent misunderstanding into devastating conflict.
Therefore, partner trust, that some of you it disturbs or to deal with him in a certain matter you don't agree. Do it alone and on friendly, non-accusatory way.
Also, be prepared to give your opinion a bit to change. Don't worry, we are in no way asking you to deviate from your core values, but we do advise that the conversation approach with an open mind. Don't let it to you pride prevented them from looking at the situation from another point of view and se learned something new.
It is also important that the partner you are listening and that if you feel like you reacted the wrong way, you're ready to excuse.
3. Expressing your own feelings instead of blaming
Unhealthy relationships often rule blaming each other and finding the culprit for the resulting conflicts. Remember that this way, if you want your relationship to last, no way is not correct. It rarely happens that he bears the blame for a misunderstanding only one and even if so, it is no ground for rude accusation.
If you are not satisfied with something your partner has done instead impulsive reactions think about how you might approach the situation approached. Then to him respectful way explain how you feel about his actions felt and how could the problem solved. Remember, your goal is not prove the partner's guilt, but to achieve that you are used to it relationship improves.
In practice, this means that instead of a partner blame laziness, you say you did felt tired and sad, when you returned to an untidy apartment after a long day. Don't let your anger get the best of you if your partner explains that he's had a lot of work too - instead, talk to him make an agreement, how could you distributed housework.
Neither do they blame to your partner that he doesn't care about you and that he never listens to you. You cannot read his mind. That's why he prefers it explain, how are you felt, when he didn't reply to your message, etc. Remember, the foundation of a healthy relationship is always communication.
