If you leave, don't come back: 4 harmful reasons why you want to rekindle your relationship with your ex and why it's not a good idea!

When we break up, we break up for a reason. We didn't find a common language, maybe our partner cheated, maybe we got bored, but we have a good reason for that, which we suddenly can't remember anymore! We want our ex-partner to come back into our lives. Is there any good in this?

Before you start dinners, wine, chocolates and kisses again, it might be wise to to take a step back and you look at the whole matter with realistic eyes.

4 harmful reasons why you want to rekindle your relationship with your ex-partner and why he doesn't do it

1. Selfishness

If you want to be with your partner again, who possibly cheated on you, you have to ask yourself, is he 100% loyal to you. Both partners have to make sacrifices, not just you. Also check if he only blames you for everything. He might want to manipulate you and tell you that his cheating or your breakup is your fault because you did something or didn't do something.

If he blames only you and tells you that you made a mistake, while he can't see his own mistakes, it may be time to move on. You don't need such negativity in life.

2. You are afraid of being alone

Maybe the only reason you want to be with your ex is because you can't be alone. But loneliness is no excuse for reconciliation with such a partner.

When you're alone, that's the best time to find out what you want and who you want to become in life. Then think about all the wonderful things you gave up. Go to an upscale restaurant you've always wanted to visit, or see a movie your ex never wanted to see. It is now time to put yourself back together and find yourself again. Being lonely and having no one waiting for you at home is not enough reason to go back to someone who will treat you badly. This time you really need to take the time and work hard to find your worth and realize that you don't have to settle for a relationship that isn't the best one possible.

3. You want to do this for the sake of the children

Some couples who can no longer find a common language also have children, and these can be the reason that the partners remain in a toxic relationship. Children should not be the reason for wanting to return to an ex-partner or the reason why he/she would persist in such a relationship. This will only show your children that you are weak. You can raise them even if they don't always have their mother or father in front of them.

If you broke up because your partner cheated, it's even a good idea to leave and not come back. When a partner cheats with their children, they are confused and lost; and if you argue with your partner in front of them, you can only hurt them more.

4. You feel like you have nowhere to go

Some people want to return to their partner simply because they don't know where else to go. They feel trapped and can't escape anywhere.

But in reality, you can run away. There are always alternatives, and not just living with your ex. These are available transitional homes, friends' apartments, parents' house, your car or a campsite – and any of these are far better choices for your mental health than staying with your ex and watching her possibly create another life for herself.

Never feel trapped because you don't have enough money to go on your own. This is only temporary and you will get back on your feet. Just don't stay with your ex at the expense of your dignity. Sometimes the burden is financial, other times psychological, but no matter what you do, don't go back to her/him just "because".

If you're fighting for him/her, you need a really good reason, because if you're trying to fix things and find common ground, it has to be worth it now, otherwise it won't be in the future either. Remember that you can't "fix" people. They must want to change themselves.