Somewhere inside you know that your relationship is over. But you deny and cover up the imminent truth. He won't be back. He didn't leave to love you more. But he's gone forever. How to get over it?
When a relationship ends, you feel like you're losing a part of your life. Sadness becomes your everyday life. You look for it in other people, things. You are moving from one phase to another. You are slow to accept the truth. He's gone. He left.
Let's take a closer look at the stages of grieving after a relationship breakup.
Stage 1: Denial
"No, we didn't really break up, we just took a break. No, we didn't really break up, we just had a fight! We can still succeed."
Denial. Denial is most often the first stage of grief after a breakup. It helps you survive as your brain begins to process the unimaginable reality of a breakup.
Stage 2: Grief
"Why did this happen to me? What's wrong with me? How can I ever love again?”
As the reality of the breakup begins to set in, great sadness can set in. Endless tears, sleepless nights, tons of ice cream. Breakup grief is unique. Not only are you mourning the past, you are also mourning the future.
They could share a future, but they never will. Watch a sad movie and eat some chocolate or ice cream and then take a breather and remind yourself that you're going to be okay.
Phase 3: Negotiations
“If he comes back, I swear we'll never fight again about… If he comes back, I promise I won't… If he comes back…”
She will be back. She didn't leave. I know it will. Photo: Max Ilienerwise / UnsplashThe requests we make to the universe can be complex and full of all-encompassing promises. Although it's tempting, don't waste time negotiating. You know deep down that these are empty promises.
Level 4: Anger
“How dare she break up with me; because I'm perfect? How dare you go out with another person.”
On the plus side, anger can make you feel productive because it tries to convince you to move on with your life. If anger is not controlled, it can quickly spiral out of control. Keep it moderate and hit the pillow instead of the wall.
Level 5: Acceptance
"We were never right for each other. We are both still worthy of love. I will find love again.”
Acceptance is the final stage of the grieving process after a breakup. It reflects the moment when you realize that you are okay and that everything will be ok. This is the moment when you look in the mirror for the first time in months and smile. This is the moment when you stop looking at your photos and finally store them deep in the closet.
It may take a while, but these moments of acceptance are fleeting. You fell in love and it didn't work out. But you tried, you survived, and one day you will love again.
