Being in a mature, adult relationship does not necessarily mean that we also act mature, adult all the time. When these and other emotions are at play, we often say and do something that we later regret and know that we could have avoided. Yes, even mature couples have "immature" arguments. Here are some of the most common "immature" arguments that can be seen in even the most mature relationships.
1. Argument about home/apartment maintenance
This becomes an especially big factor in arguments when two people begin their lives together. Who's turn to wash the dishes, who will mop the shower, clean the bathroom, take out the trash this time? Humans have different standards when it comes to cleanliness and organization – some of us are a bit too OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), while others could live in a pig sty without a care. We can scream at each other for hours, but we won't solve anything until we say what's really bothering us.
2. Argument about wanting more attention / argument about lack of attention
People are different - some of us constantly need attention, while others are completely independent. Some do not give attention, others give it too much. It is necessary to find a balance, because we will not be happy if we do not get the attention or independence we want, and neither will our partner. The only way is to be aware of what one of us needs to be emotionally satisfied, and then it is necessary to make compromises and stick to them.
3. Arguing about various theories, but not facts
Debates are one thing; however, arguments that quickly turn into arguments and temper tantrums are another. Most people think that having the same, if not identical, beliefs is the key to a successful relationship. Among other things, most people are not mature enough to accept their beliefs as theories rather than facts. For example, let's look at religion - the belief that there are some old, bearded people sitting on a cloud who created us from clay may be funny to us, but we cannot definitively prove that it is otherwise. It is not necessary to agree with our partner, but it is important to respect his opinion.
4. Arguing about our partner choosing to hang out with friends instead of us
Being in a relationship is not easy. When we spend every day with the same person, things can get a little boring over time. But it's not his/her fault, nor ours - it's perfectly natural. If our boyfriend or girlfriend decides to spend the evening with friends, there is no reason to be upset. Sometimes we need some space to fully appreciate what we have. As long as our partner is honest with us and with us when we need him, there is no reason to fight.
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5. Argument about the fact that the partner did not reply to the message or call us in time
This also just happens sometimes. People are busy, we don't always have our phone with us and we don't check it every minute. Maybe our partner is focused on something else, maybe he's dealing with something specific, which he can't share with us yet. But maybe he just needs some time to respond appropriately. If we really don't trust our partner, then we always find something to talk about.
6. Arguing about our partner liking another person's new photo
It's just a tax on social networks. If we are worried because we don't want our partner to be attracted to someone else, then we need to be realistic. People don't stop being attracted to other people just because they've become part of a serious relationship. Of course, it all depends on what people do with it. Cheating is of course not acceptable.
7. Arguing about who will change the child's diapers
Having a child is certainly not easy - we sleep less and less, and finding time for ourselves becomes almost impossible. We are much more emotional and stress is a big part of everyday life. So why would you want to argue anymore? If we have decided to be a parent, then it is our job to take care of the child. You will have to wake up in the middle of the night and change the baby's diaper, feed him and put him to sleep. My partner and I are in this together and let's try to put frustrations aside. Let's not point fingers at each other and make sure we do our part equally and sometimes give in and don't hold grudges if the task isn't done - this will make the job easier for the man or woman we love.
8. Arguing about our relationship not being perfect
We are all far from perfect. We and our partners are not perfect. Our life is not perfect. We need to be realistic and careful with our expectations, as well as with our definition of love. It is easiest to define love as perfection, purity, as an incredibly euphoric experience... but this definition is wrong, it is a definition that can destroy our relationship, destroy the love we share with our partner and potentially destroy our lives. Arguing about how imperfect our relationship is is madness. Relationships are always flawed, our lives will always be full of mistakes, and so will our love. And those mistakes are the spices that make everything worthwhile and so perfect.
