December. A month of sparkling lights, the smell of cinnamon and hugs under glittering decorations. A magical time for most. For those who have been left alone, it is a time when loneliness burns even deeper under the skin. When the one you thought would see in the New Year with you leaves you, all that holiday glitter becomes just a reflection of your pain. And what now? How do you spend the holidays when you're on the ground while everyone else is flying high?
Admit to yourself that it hurts - and allow yourself to feel it
Don't bother with phrases like "keep your head up" or "time heals all wounds". Not now. Your tears have their place and time, and it is now. Are you crying? Great. Each tear is a piece of pain that flows from you. Treat yourself to chocolate, a movie with endless love plots or a playlist that will blow your mind. Allow yourself to be broken. It's not weakness, it's humanity.
Because you know what? Your pain means you felt love. And even though it's over now, it means your heart is alive. More alive than that icy December that surrounds you.
Don't isolate yourself, even if you feel like it
It's easiest to close the curtains and tell the world, "I'm off." But right now, you need contact. Invite your friends over for an evening of chat, pizza and free-spirited complaining about the male line. Go to a concert or holiday fair, even if the thought of crowds seems unbearable. Because you know what's worse than the noise of happy strangers? The silence of your solitude.
Allow yourself to laugh. Although it sounds like an oxymoron, it is this sincere laughter that at best saves you, and at worst, at least temporarily opens a window to a better world.
Christmas movies without Christmas romance? No problem!
Who says December has to be the month of "happy couples"? Instead of "Love Actually", play "Home Alone" and remember that solitude has its charms. An evening of popcorn, warm socks and a movie where Kevin McCallister busts thieves can be your little holiday revenge. No romantic kitsch, just you and your ability to survive.
Well, you're actually stronger than any movie plot, aren't you?
Write down New Year's wishes - for yourself
When someone leaves you, the worst part is that you feel like you've lost a part of your future. But hey, the future is still yours. Write down your goals for the coming year - ones that are just yours. He is learning a language that "he" has always ignored. Treat yourself to the trip you've been dreaming of, but always put off. Become a person who is not broken even by December.
And you know what? You don't have to be "ok" by the end of the year
Don't bother with your hands. You don't have to start the new year flawlessly and completely "hello". All that matters is that you start. Step by step, week by week. If you're going to cry on New Year's Eve, so be it. Tears won't ruin your New Year, as long as they aren't your only companion.
Remember: even if the world seems to be spinning without you now, it will soon stop for you too. And when you spin with him again, you'll know that you survived the holiday frenzy like a real winner.
