"Sometimes I hear my bones groaning under the weight of a life I'm not living." - Jonathan Safran Foer
Life scares me. The future scares me. My present is routine.
I envisioned my life ahead of me and got mad every time I couldn't get to a certain point IMMEDIATELY. I had a feeling that the days ahead would be a distorted version of my ideas, and the days I was living now were routine - nothing more and nothing less.
I have made plans for the future that make me tighten my belt every day of my life. For a moment I forgot to live. I forgot to enjoy the little things. I forgot to take care of myself because I was constantly worrying about achieving the next goal at this exact moment.
I'm too afraid to take a step that could take me in the wrong direction of the timeline I've created for myself. Living life just to meet the tasks and deadlines I have is extremely stressful.
But one day it dawned on me: these deadlines I created for myself are the death of my happiness! I want to live life with no regrets and step into the unknown with some faith and trust that the future will be exactly as it should be.
I know I'm not the only one who is scared of the future, but isn't it scarier to forget about the NOW because you're too busy thinking that you're planning the "perfect" future? I realized that acceptance will be my best friend and that things don't just happen right away.
I want to stop my thinking about what will be and I want to start living what already is. I have to stop thinking and I have to accept that things won't always go the way I want them to.
Let's stop treating life like it's a race. We don't need to buy that house we looked at at 27. We don't need to buy that car before we turn 30. We don't need to get married just because all our friends are married. Let's take our time! In the end, everything that matters will be ours, and everything we've ever dreamed of will be achieved. Trust the time in your life!
The future we envision will be even better if we start living our lives NOW!
