If you often try to please others, you are probably compassionate and like to give. These are wonderful qualities, but at the same time, you always put your desires last. Many who enjoy pleasing others eventually become emotionally drained and feel as though their time is not theirs at all. All this leads to stress, resentment and fear of various rejections. If you've had enough of it, here are some tips on how to avoid it and put yourself first.
1. Set healthy boundaries
Knowing how and when to set boundaries is crucial, if you don't want to sacrifice your well-being for others. Setting boundaries in relationships is a skill we learn throughout our lives. How skilled you will be at this also depends on your upbringing and the environment in which you grew up. Learning to say 'NO', is a process of getting to know yourself and your needs, so don't be afraid to consider your feelings, wants and needs. Once you set your boundaries, you will find it easier to integrate them into your relationships with others.
2. Define your mantra
Mantras are repetitive positive words and thoughts, which are known to be effective tools for working with the mind. Use a mantra with a specific intention to establish an appropriate and positive mental state for a specific situation. These are words and thoughts that will motivate you and encourage you to feel better, think differently and give you the confidence to push your personal boundaries.
3. Make a list of things that boost your confidence
Desire for to please often it stems from insecurity or fear of rejection. One way to get around this is to make a list of all the reasons you deserve to have boundaries. Stand up for yourself. Make a list of things that boost your confidence and give you a source of motivation and stick to it.
4. Take time for yourself
One of the reasons why you are constantly pleasing others may be that yes you are not sure, what you really want, what you feel and think. Ask yourself why you are afraid to say no. Next, write down the goals you want to achieve and how much time and energy it would take to put yourself first.
If you are you write in advance and you affirm these kinds of words, you will find it easier to say no when the situation of rejection arises. In this way, you will not give in to the emotions of the moment, which you might later regret, but you will stick to predetermined boundaries.
Learning to say “NO”, is a process that does not happen overnight. The prerequisite for this is that at find out for yourself, what is important to you, to know who you want to live with, who you want to spend your free time with and how you feel. You have to believe in yourself that you deserve respect. Even if you don't succeed the first time, don't give up on yourself and persevere.
When your well-being, self-confidence, self-esteem will improve and you will not constantly apologize for your actions, you will finally gain self-esteem, you will begin to express your needs and desires, then you know that you are on the right path to own success.
