For anyone who has lost themselves because of a narcissist in a relationship!

Aja Louther, an artist, dancer, dreamer and writer who draws her inspiration from the complexities of human relationships, shared a post on iheartintelligence.com dedicated to anyone who has ever lost themselves to a narcissist!

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Have you ever loved someone so deeply and intensely that the thought of being with them for the rest of your life filled you with ecstasy? I am.

I believed that the love I felt for him could outweigh the fact that he was basically a narcissist, and that was the beginning of a creepy love story.

Ever since I can remember, I have always loved to love. I believed that love could solve and change everything, but now I know I was wrong. You simply cannot love a narcissist and expect him to love you and love you in the same way that you love him.

Because narcissists love only themselves, they are driven by ego, they feed on rejecting others.

I realized this the hard way, I gave him all my love and attention, all I got from him was a broken, wounded heart and a destroyed self-esteem.

When we met, we were floating in the clouds, we were in love. I felt safe in his embrace, I trusted him, but over time I realized that this was his intention, that he only wanted to "tie" me to him. I made a mistake and told him that I believe in love and that there is nothing in the world more powerful than the power of love (which is true). He remembered my words and used them when things got worse.

He made me feel like he had my back, to be there for me when the going gets tough. When you enter into a loving relationship with someone, there should be an invisible bond between you, the kind where you know that the other person will always be there for you, no matter what. He was there for me in the beginning, in all the ways a partner should be there for you somewhere. But over time he withdrew and only appeared when he needed me. And because I loved him blindly, I stayed, regardless of all the emotional carousels I was experiencing inside.

He took away my identity. Loving someone who only loves themselves is one of the hardest things I've ever done. He played the victim, I thought I had the superpower inside me to heal him with love. I felt as if my essence was being sucked out of me. Through this process, I started to lose myself, I forgot who I was because I was busy patching the holes in his heart. He took so much from me that I barely had enough love left for myself. I forgot how to love myself.

He manipulated me into believing that the love he gave me was the best I could receive. Partnerships are mutual watering of gardens in such a way that both can grow. He used this to his advantage. He convinced me that all his selfishness and pain stemmed from his childhood and that the only way he could overcome it was if I stayed with him and continued to be a "good partner".

When we argued, he blamed me for not understanding him and his way of showing love. If I'm someone who believes in love, I should learn to accept his way of showing love, right? Well, I loved him. But if I really loved him, I should love everything I got from him according to him. What complete "bullshit" that was!

I couldn't take it anymore, I started drowning in his world.  When I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself anymore. I became the person who was always available to him, who ran to him when she received his call, to fulfill all his wishes, needs and never mine, only his.

If I ever tried to express my feelings, he made me feel like I was stupid for not doing things the way he wanted. Now I see this manipulation. Whenever I did something for myself, he said nasty things to me because I didn't give him that attention.

I realized that he actually he never loved himself, and that he demanded so much of my love because of it.

I finally gathered the strength to tell him "Goodbye!". This was only after I no longer recognized my reflection in the mirror. That's when I decided to leave him. Our love has become toxic.

After I left, I realized that I was actually the one enabling his toxic narcissistic behavior.

His love tore me apart, he destroyed my self-esteem as he convinced me that I would be nothing without him and everything he did for me. I had a hard time letting it go, because I believed that our love was the real happy love.

It takes courage to leave a relationship in which you believed immensely. It takes strength to walk away and choose yourself. When I finally did that, I began my long journey of self-discovery.

In his absence, I began to love myself and in this way to heal my wounded heart.

I started doing things that brought joy into my life. I reconnected with my family, friends, and renewed relationships that I had easily neglected because of him. I slowly began to recognize my reflection in the mirror again.

The truth is, you can't make anyone love you. And no matter how you believe in the relationship, sometimes love is not enough. Love is about balance and equality, and when one partner doesn't want to meet the other half, the relationship can easily become toxic.

You know, only you have the power to change your reality because only you can. And since we humans are made of love, love will always exist.

All it takes is realizing that the most important thing is to cultivate self-love. Without loving yourself, you can never truly love another.