Imagine a moment when you could look at the world without the constant hammer of judgment in your head. Without that immediate reaction: "He's rude, she's shallow, this is wrong, this is right." Krishnamurti once said that the ability to observe without judgment is the highest form of intelligence. But seriously – how many times have you really tried that? In a world where judgments are our daily meal, we've become addicted to opinions like caffeine: without them, it feels like we're missing a part of our identity. Is it really so?
When judgments are our seat belts - but are they even true?
Each of us has already been in a situation where we judged someone based solely on the first impression. We probably thought we were right: "Look at the way he talks - he sure is conceited." Or: "Oh, she only wears expensive brands, she must be shallow." But these judgments are rarely more than personal projections smeared on those who don't really deserve them. Our judgments are like tabloid headlines – quick, sharp, often far from the truth. However, we accept them as facts. Why? Because it's easier to fool others than to really get to know them.
We may be afraid that accepting people without judgment will somehow "soften" us or make us more vulnerable. So that our strong ideas about the world and people, which we have so beautifully built up, would crack. The irony? It is judgments that bind us, limit our freedom and keep us in chains. Do we really want to live like this?
Ego: judge and user in one
Our ego is that little dwarf in our head that always wants to be in charge - better, smarter, less "defective" than anyone else. It's an internal dictator that tells us that we can't just observe without judgement, because that would mean we're giving in. That we are weak. That we are, God forbid, no better than others.
But here's the trick: when we don't judge, when we just observe, the ego actually loses its power. He loses that sweet illusion that he is indispensable. Instead of making us feel weak, nonjudgmental observation can fill us with genuine strength. Not with the power we get when we are in the right, but with the power that comes from deep understanding— hey, i might not know everything, and that's okay.
Exercise: Observe and be silent (if possible)
Try the following today: go to the street or to a bar, turn off the mental hammer and just look. If you see someone who seems disinterested, don't assume they are bored. If you meet someone who is dressed differently, don't immediately mark them as "out of your circle". Let what you see be just a scene - people moving like clouds in the sky. Seeing without analyzing, without interpreting. Is it really that hard?
Your ego will probably squirm like a spoiled child: "But I want to know why!" And understandably so – everyone likes the feeling of power that comes with judgments. But the moment you put that need aside, you become more free. You see more, not just through the layers of your own assumptions.
How judgments destroy love and understanding
Have you ever noticed how judgments affect our relationships? We unwittingly create walls, walls of expectations, ideals and disappointments. We judge our partners because they are not enough of this or that, we compare our friends with our expectations, and we judge family members as not understanding the "truth".
But love cannot really thrive in such an atmosphere. Love is born in a space of acceptance. When we stop judging, we can truly see our loved ones. And even better, we begin to see ourselves with more understanding. Judgment creates empty rooms in our hearts, while observation without judgment creates space for connection, for true presence.
Time to "detox" the ego?
The ability to observe without judgment is not some esoteric art for a select few. It is a tool that any of us can use if we only choose. But it brings more than just peace - it brings freedom from the burden of constant judgment, the constant need to assert one's right. And, hand on heart, who among us wouldn't want at least a little more ease, a little more freedom and - why not - a little more wisdom?
Don't wait until you're an ancient philosopher to allow yourself a single moment without judgment. Allow yourself now. You might feel a little weird about it, but if you don't try, you won't know what you've been missing.
