How to make peace with the past? These are six steps that will help you.
Are you interested in how to come to terms with the past? It is anything but an easy process that requires a lot of self-reflection and empathy. However, the benefits of stopping looking back and instead looking to the future will be huge.
Compassion
If you want to make peace with the past, you have to start with compassion. Without the ability to feel what you felt when you were younger, you won't be able to accept, let alone embrace or offer comfort to, this earlier version of yourself. Whatever you did or think you did in your youth, you must understand, you did it under the influence of circumstances. You were just trying to survive in a situation that was too strong for you at the time.
Photo: Unsplash/Averie WoodardEmbrace your humanity
The key aspect that has so far kept you from coming to terms with your past is feeling ashamed of what you saw in yourself. Because of the imperfection of a being that is not worthy of love or respect. It's these qualities you've come to despise that actually make you worthy of both, because it's these imperfections that make us human.
Forgive yourself
After the first two steps of compassion and acceptance of your humanity, you can now forgive yourself for the perceived mistakes of your youth. You are not a bad person. You did not choose or intend to do bad things. You were vulnerable, susceptible, needy, and knew no other way of doing things.
Photo: Unsplash/Anthony TranAcceptance
How to make peace with the past? With compassion, accepting your humanity and forgiveness comes acceptance. You were what you were, you did what you did, and you cannot change the past. You have probably already suffered enough because of your mistakes, even for the sake of daily self-blame. Accept your past self and move on. While you can't change the past, you can create a future that will help offset that past.
Take responsibility
If you want to come to terms with the past, you have to do perhaps the most difficult thing - take responsibility for your past behavior. This willingness to take responsibility shows tremendous strength and bodes well for taking responsibility for your future.
Photo: Unsplash/yanapi SenaudBe the best version of yourself
Another aspect of your ability to change the future is consciously choosing not to be the person you were. Moreover, you will be the person you wanted to be in the past. Who do you want to be? What values do you want to embody? What beliefs and attitudes should guide your life? And, finally, what impact do you want to have on the world? From these reflections, you will identify who you want to be and strive to be the best version of yourself.
