Why is it so hard to say "no"? Do you set boundaries?
Do you feel bad about setting boundaries? Setting boundaries is an art that we must master in order to live a healthy and balanced life. Yet many of us feel bad or guilty when we try to set boundaries, whether in our personal or professional lives.
Why is this happening?
imagine, that your life is a book where there is a new page every day. When you write your story, you have to decide who and what will have a place in it. Borders are like the edges of a page – they allow you to keep the story clear and focused, rather than cluttered and overwhelmed with too many characters and events.
Setting boundaries is not only helpful, but necessary
When we try to set boundaries, we often experience internal conflicts. On the one hand, we want to protect our own needs and well-being, but on the other hand, we worry about hurting others or being rejected. This internal struggle between one's own integrity and the need for acceptance is completely human.
Only this requires courage because it involves the risk of not being liked by everyone or being misunderstood. However, setting boundaries is key to maintaining healthy relationships and your own mental health.
Have you ever felt that people are taking advantage of you because you are always available?
You may have felt exhausted, angry, or even bitter. These are signals that you need boundaries. Setting boundaries is like building a safe haven around your inner sanctum. It's not egotistical. When you protect your emotional and mental health, you can better serve others and have more fulfilling relationships.
Guilt, which occurs when setting boundaries, is often related to social norms and expectations. Many of us have been raised to believe that we must be kind, helpful, and that our worth depends on how much we please others.
This belief can lead us to put the needs of others before our own, which in the long run damages our self-esteem and well-being. When we set a boundary, we can feel guilty for breaking with these deeply held beliefs.
People around you may not always understand or accept your boundaries. They may be disappointed or even angry at first. But that's part of the process.
When you set boundaries, you teach others how to treat you and gradually form healthier and more respectful relationships. It is important to understand that these reactions are a reflection of their own needs and expectations, and not necessarily an indication that we are doing something wrong.
The key is to be aware of your own worth and needs
Understanding that you have a right to your own boundaries and that those boundaries are critical to your mental and emotional health is the first step. Once you learn to respect your needs, it becomes easier to set boundaries without feeling guilty. This is not selfishness; it's taking care of yourself.
It is normal to feel insecure or guilty about this process, especially if we have been used to pleasing others for a long time. Accepting and understanding your own emotions is key to personal growth. Allowing yourself to be uncomfortable while insisting on setting boundaries is a sign of inner strength and self-respect.
This is the moment you decide to take it back power over your life. There is nothing more liberating than knowing you have a right say "no" and set boundaries, that protect your energy, time and mental health.
