All of us who have loved and lost hear that it is time to "get over it" and to "move on". Yes, it's true, we have to do it, but it takes some time… and lots and lots of healing.
The question arises, how to move on with life when you lose the one you love, your great love, that you thought they would grow old together. Regret and despair when you see the person you loved so much with someone else, with a new family, is a bitter "pill" to swallow.
All of us who have loved and lost hear that it is time to "get over it" and to "move on". Yes, it's true, we have to do it, but it takes some time… and lots and lots of healing. We are brought up with the belief, and we are repeatedly told that there is a special person waiting for us out there somewhere. If we believe that we have found it and then also lost it, then what help are all those assurances that we got from our parents and those around us in life? What does it say about ourselves that we could not keep our great love in life?
Most of us have it in our lives one true, great love, although it is not necessary that we also grow old with it. So we look back with sadness and imagine an idyllic fairy tale with a person who created a life together with someone else. For those of you who can relate to this scenario, you know what a colossal loss this turns out to be. Life in the past, namely it has a bad effect on our physical and mental health. We also like to believe that if we married the man or woman of our dreams, we would live happily ever after. But these are movie scripts. Only there does the couple ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after for the next fifty years.
Let's be happy that we had the chance to meet our soulmate, because it is a rarity similar to winning the lottery. But if we don't win the lottery or marry the person we believe is our dream partner, that doesn't mean that what we have today is a waste of time or the "second best" we could get. As we get older, our relationships change. If we have loved and lost our true love, we need time to reflect and time to heal. When we meet someone else, we ask them to give us time. We may not really feel the same excitement or lust, but eventually we will an intimacy that will be different – not worse, just different, maybe even better.
Losing the love of our life is devastating. We constantly wonder what we did wrong, where we offended the universe, why this is happening to us... And that's why love is such a lottery. It rarely happens that everything turns out "ideally". And even if it happens, it is not a guarantee of a successful relationship for the rest of your life.
So if you have suffered this type of loss and have met someone else, be careful and gentle with them, they may be dealing with a similar fate themselves. And do not think of this person as a "replacement", as a "second best" that can be obtained … If you look back, you will never find true love and satisfaction again, but will only increase your personal sorrow.
It may be a cliché, but it's also true: losing what you thought was the love of your life happened for a reason. And this reason stands before you today!
