How is it possible that you are here, but I don't feel you? Why do your words lose their weight even when I hear them? Why does closeness turn into distance, even though there is not a single step between us? When you stand before me, it seems to me that I am looking through you. Where have you gone, even though you never left?
We wake up in the same bed, but the feeling of closeness fades. You touch me, I don't care. Not because I don't love you - but because there's an emptiness hidden between our touches that you can no longer fill.
You once looked at me and I knew you saw me. Today we look past each other, as if searching for something that was left behind.
I don't miss your body. I miss the feeling of having you as my interlocutor. Being my ally. Being the one who truly understands me before I even utter a thought. Now we sit next to each other like strangers. I tell you about my day, and you nod, not listening.
You answer, without interest, without questions. I sit next to you and internally scream for your attention. Not after compliments. Not with big words. Just with the feeling that you are here – with me, not just next to me.
Touches without meaning
You once held my hand like I was something precious. Today you don't hold my hand anymore. You're just there. The kiss we exchange before bed has become a check-off on our list.
And it's harder every time. Because I know how it used to be. Your embrace no longer embraces me., but it slips over your shoulders. You used to know me like your own breath. Today you ask me what's wrong only when I withdraw completely into myself.
We got caught up in a rhythm that didn't notice us. Everything we do is right. We cook, we share chores, we discuss plans. But between the lines of these chores there are no more emotions. It's just cooperation. No more connection.
I want more than that. I want a look that stops on me. A word that touches me. A moment that lasts. And I know it's still you - you. But it's like swapping your heart for a schedule. Everything runs smoothly, but without a real beat. I don't want a relationship that we maintain because "it's so right". I want you to touch me with your soul again.
Fatigue without words
I'm not looking for drama. I don't need explanations. Just honesty. Just a moment to look into my eyes and admit that you too feel something falling apart. That the silence between us doesn't leave you indifferent. That you realize how often You go into your own thoughts instead of staying with me. I miss the spark. I miss that vibe we had when everything was new, but nothing artificial. And I don't want to go back to the beginning – I want to continue.But if you're no longer in this story, be brave enough to admit it.
I know you're still here - but where are you?
I miss you. Not when you're at work. Not at night when you're asleep. I miss you during a sentence. During a pause in the conversation. During the drive, when we are silent. That's when I feel the most that you are no longer here.
Maybe we still have a chance. But not if we keep quiet. Not if we just try to be “okay.” Not if we play a couple while losing ourselves.
But if you're already gone, at least don't stand before me like an illusion anymore. Let me miss you for real, not in your presence!
