The method of punishing a child by withdrawing for as many minutes as they are old was once popular and even promoted in various media. But is this approach really effective and beneficial for a child's development? Let's delve deeper into this question and explore what consequences such punishment can have on children.
The “time-out” method and its rise in popular culture
The withdrawal method, popularly called “time-out,” became particularly famous thanks to the British show Supernanny, where educator Jo Frost often used this approach to calm children's tantrums. The idea is simple: isolate the child and let them think about their behavior in silence. But despite its apparent effectiveness on the show, experts and parents have become increasingly skeptical of the method over the years.
What does the profession say about sitting in the corner?
Psychologists and educators warn that punishment through isolation can be harmful to a child. Although the method appears to be an effective calming strategy, research shows that:
- A child is unable to think about their behavior if they are overwhelmed by strong emotions such as fear and sadness.
- Punishment by isolation can cause feelings of shame, loneliness, and inferiority.
- Instead of understanding what they did wrong, the child focuses on how to avoid punishment next time – often by lying or pretending.
Long-term consequences: punishment or learning?
The main goal of discipline is not to punish, but to teach a child how to deal with emotions and conflicts. When we put a child in a corner, we do not offer them strategies for better response, but leave them alone with their feelings. The consequences can be:
- Development of passive aggression – the child learns to hide their emotions instead of expressing them healthily.
- Low sense of self-worth, as isolation communicates: “You are not worthy of my attention.”
- Fear of making mistakes, which can lead to perfectionism or completely withdrawn behavior.
What to do instead?
Instead of punishing with isolation, we can use methods that help the child understand their behavior and improve it:
- Conversation: Once your child has calmed down, talk to them about what happened, why their behavior was wrong, and how they could have responded differently.
- Learning emotional expression: Offer children words and ways to express anger or disappointment so that they don't express it through shouting or aggression.
- Setting boundaries with respect: It is important to set clear boundaries for your child, but in a way that encourages cooperation and understanding, not fear.
Conclusion: Authority with empathy, not fear
Parenting is not a competition of who has more power – it is about building trust and forming a healthy relationship with your child. The “time-out” method may seem like a simple solution, but in the long run it can do more harm than good. If we want to raise a confident, compassionate and responsible child, we must be willing to invest time and patience and learn to understand our child’s distress.
