Is there a recipe for a perfect mother? Is it even possible to be a "perfect mother"?

The perfect mother is an ideal for some, a myth for others. In today's world, many mothers find themselves under constant pressure to be perfect. They often believe that they have to do more than is even possible, which leads to stress itself, which does not benefit the development of the child or the well-being of the mother. But why do so many modern parents, especially mothers, feel obligated to be perfect parents?

Sometime in the recent past, many mothers began to feel that they had to be perfect in order to raise decent and successful children. Society has set extremely high standards, which include a perfect upbringing of children, a successful career and a tidy home, and in addition, a woman must also be a loving wife, in good physical condition and with a suitable, balanced diet for the whole family. Organic if possible. All these demands are a huge burden, which makes many mothers expect too much of themselves. Ironically, the biggest pressure often comes from themselves.

Not a perfect mom, a good enough mom

British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined the term "good enough mother" as early as 1953. With this expression, he wanted to emphasize that mothers do not need to be perfect in order to raise their children well. They just have to be good enough. Winnicott, who cared for thousands of babies in his career, observed that it does not benefit children if their mothers are perfect - if they are always there and if they always meet their every need. Such an approach is not optimal for the child's development.

Newborns, of course, need immediate care and feeding. But when the child gets a little older, he can tolerate a smaller delay in meeting his needs. This helps him develop the ability to tolerate frustration and the ability to delay gratification. Winnicott noticed that the children actually benefited when their mother occasionally "disappointed" them in small things. This prepared them for the inevitable disappointments they would experience in the real world.

Our children must be prepared for a life that includes some disappointments and for relationships with other people that bring ups and downs. Friends and later partners will not always be available; they won't always be kind. And we have to gently confront children with this early enough.

So, dear mommies – stop putting so much pressure on yourself! Take a few minutes to accept the fact that it's okay to feel like a less than perfect mom sometimes. It is important that you are "good enough" - and that is quite enough.

Here are some tips for 'perfect moms' who want to be good enough moms:

Take a few moments for yourself every day. This can be a time to read a book, meditate or simply relax with a cup of tea.

Movement is key to well-being. A walk in nature, yoga or exercise can help relieve stress and improve mood.

Learn to say "no" and set boundaries. It is not necessary for you to take on all the tasks and responsibilities.

Make sure you get enough sleep. A well-slept mother can face the challenges of the day more easily.

Talking to other mums can bring a sense of support and understanding. You can share experiences and advice together.