Is it just chemistry or are you simply compatible with your partner? Check!
Are you wondering if you and your partner just have chemistry or if you are simply compatible? These are three ways you can discover the main differences between one and the other. Recognizing the difference between chemistry and compatibility is essential to building healthy and satisfying relationships. While chemistry ignites the passion, compatibility nurtures the core lasting bonds. If you have difficulty separating these two concepts, it is a good idea to clarify what kind of relationship you are in.
Attractiveness
Humans have an evolutionary tendency to make first impressions based on physical attractiveness and chemistry. This instinct, rooted in our past, ensured the survival of our species for its time. He assured our ancestors that they would find fertile and healthy partners to create offspring. Even today, although more covertly, physical attractiveness is of primary importance in meeting a partner. In any case, such physical attraction is essential for the beginning of a relationship, which is also confirmed by research.
This also fits with evolutionary theories of attachment, suggesting that individuals seek out partners with traits that are conducive to a successful relationship. But if we focus only on obvious physical attraction, we can overlook critical compatibility factors such as shared values, communication style, and life goals.
Cognitive dissonance
Are you easily compatible with the person? When intense chemistry or infatuation overwhelms us, the flood of emotions can overcome any doubts about long-term compatibility with this person. This infatuation can blind us to the warning signs, believing that an intense connection will overcome all challenges. But while there is an undeniable attraction that brings people together, there can also be subtle signs of incompatibility, such as different values or communication styles, that hint at future challenges.
As a result, people resort to rationalization and denial. Studies show that when making decisions, our brains spin the justifications for our decisions, often without long-term thinking. This happens at a time when our brains may adjust our emotions to match our decisions or vice versa. Beliefs such as "Our bond is so strong that we will overcome any obstacle" or "Our differences only strengthen our bond" can only be a defense against the doubt and uncertainty that we otherwise feel deep inside.
Emotional needs
Our emotional needs and desires play an important role in compatibility in relationships. Finding partners that fulfill immediate emotional or psychological needs, such as validation, excitement, or a sense of belonging, only fuels this tendency. Individuals are thus attracted to partners who give us validation through compliments, attention or physical affection.
However, the feeling of being understood and appreciated can mask potential incompatibilities. In addition, the desire to belong and socialize can lead people to seek partners who provide them with shelter from loneliness. Many studies show that individuals who fear being single tend to settle for less in their romantic relationships.
