Have you ever felt like you found something special, but it was all just an illusion? That the words you heard promised more than the person was willing to deliver?
I almost believed it...
The illusion of a relationship that never existed
I believed that there was sincerity in your words. When you told me how much you appreciated me, I felt special in those moments. But now I know that it was all empty – just a reflection of what I wanted to hear.
Yours compliments I took your excuses for the truth, your patience for patience, your evasion for a sign of insecurity.
I wanted it to be something more so much that I overlooked how little you were willing to offer.
I almost trusted you.
You told me you weren't ready, that you were scared, but I waited anyway. I convinced myself that you needed time. So that when you were ready, you would see that I was always there somewhere, standing by your side.
Instead, you kept me on the edge – never close enough, but never far enough for me to walk away.
I almost thought that...
Everything seemed to indicate that we were slowly approaching something bigger, but I stayed in the same place the whole time. I waited for your actions to follow your words, but that moment never came. Just when I thought we had moved forward, you pulled back again.
Your mixed signals became my everyday life, but I understood them as your doubts, not as a clear sign that you never wanted me the way I wanted you.
For a long time I believed the problem was me.
That I wasn't good enough to prove to you that you could be happy with me. I convinced myself that I didn't offer enough, that I asked for too much, that I didn't understand your fears. But now I know it's not my fault. I blamed myself for your inability to love like I loved.
I know I'm worth more than "almost"
I don't need someone to keep me on the edge of my life. I've learned that love is not something you have to earn, it's something that simply is.
It almost broke my heart, it almost – but it didn't, it almost – it strengthened me!
"Almost" is not enough - not for me, not for anyone. I now know that I deserve more than empty promises and half-hearted actions. I deserve a love that is clear, full, and whole. And until I find that, I will be proudly alone because I know I am enough.
