Do you ever feel like you, as a parent, are too wrapped up in your child's grades, successes, and achievements? What if you allowed yourself to take a breath and say - so what! Less pressure on little heads could mean more happiness for the whole family.
Perfectionism as a family sport
We live in a time when perfection is no longer just a choice – it has become almost expected. Parents With the best of intentions, we squeeze our children into molds of excellence, from school tests to sports competitions. But do we ever ask ourselves how they feel as they carry this burden every day?
Let's start with ourselves: How many times have you asked your child after school: “What grade did you get?” or “What grade did your friend get?” These are questions that unconsciously measure our child’s worth through their scores, not their personality or feelings. Experts warn that this approach leads to stress, anxiety, and even physical problems like headaches or stomachaches.
What does it mean to say "so what"?
What if we simply relaxed and accepted the philosophy of "so what"? Your child got a C instead of an A? So what! This doesn't mean they're any less smart or capable. It's more important to show them that mistakes aren't the end of the world, but an opportunity to learn and grow.
Instead of grades, focus on the child's well-being and daily experiences. Instead of the classic question about school achievements, ask: “What made you laugh the most today?” or “What new things have you learned?” Such questions let the child know that his value is more than just a number on paper.
Children are not projects
Children don't need a "perfect" parent to fix their every mistake and complete every task for them. Allow them to discover their own strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes a mistake is the best teacher. Ask yourself, “Do I really need to correct every single line of my homework?” Probably not. Children need space to grow and learn, not constant supervision.
Relax your parental nerves too
Perfection is an illusion. Allow yourself to let go. The next time you feel the urge to scrutinize every detail of your child's assignment or performance, stop and take a breath. Less pressure on you means less pressure on your child. More than your ambition, children need your support, love and a safe environment for learning.
Give your children the opportunity to make mistakes and succeed, without constant perfectionism. Believe me, the relief will be mutual!
