Introduction: How many times have you been taught that silence shows strength? Yes, if someone hurts you, your response should be quiet, dignified, almost heroic? But what if I told you that's not always right? That you don't always have to be the "bigger man" when your heart is pounding over the edge of pain. That you have the right to fight, shout and demand respect. This may be a new thought for you, but... give it a try. Give your anger a voice, give your pain a form.
Life convinces us that we must constantly keep the peace. "Don't react," they said. "Be a better person," they kept repeating, as if that was the only way to keep your worth. But there is something terribly wrong with this message. Silence is not always a virtue, especially when your feelings are being trampled upon. When someone crosses your boundaries, rise up. No more clenched teeth, no more giving in for "peace". Enough is enough.
We often find ourselves in situations in life where we are expected to let things slide by - like water over a stone. "Ah, what are you going to do," they say. "We all make mistakes." But who gave them the right to decide when my pain is justified? Why should I always put myself in the role of the one who devours everything while others enjoy the comfort of my silence?
When someone hurts you, you deserve to put your voice before politeness. Sometimes it's okay to trade kindness for harshness if you set a boundary. Why? Because your dignity is not up for negotiation. Being the "bigger man" can be extremely exhausting when you are expected to constantly give, constantly forgive. Take a moment and think: is it worth it?
I remember the moment when I first decided to break this vicious cycle. It was almost liberating. My voice, previously locked somewhere deep within me, suddenly found its way. And he wasn't quiet. It was powerful because it expressed the pain that had accumulated over the years. Perhaps my response was too raw, too intense for someone who was expecting just another one of my silent "it's okay, don't worry". But it wasn't right. And I had enough.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not advocating constant conflict or angry outbursts. Far from it. But my point is that you don't deserve to always be that person who sweeps things under the rug while you're seething inside. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to protect your heart and your soul, even if it means that you will someday be seen as a "bad person" in the eyes of those who are hurt by the truth.
Many times I thought about what would have happened if I had remained silent. Would it be easier? Would you keep more friends? Maybe. But the friendships that only survived because I played the better person all the time were not friendships I wanted to keep. They were toxic relationships where one person was constantly taking and the other giving. There is nothing wrong with mutual forgiveness, but when someone has repeatedly stepped on your feet, there is no point in waiting for an apology that never comes.
That's why I'm telling you: when you're hurt, don't always take the easy way out. Sometimes it's harder to scream, show your teeth, but that's your right. Don't let them take away your dignity under the guise of "peace". You are important. Your boundaries are important. And if that requires a little chaos, so be it.
So the next time someone pushes you over the edge - don't always play the hero in silence. Have your say, scream your way. Because sometimes when you reject the "higher way" you only really find your own way.
