When I first met him, I knew - this person must stay in my life. He was my peace, my soul. I have never felt such calmness before. He was unique. He became my friend, but the story got complicated.
We pretended to be just friends, but there was something more between us. Chemistry, which we felt was imminent. When our hands touched, electricity went through my body. Our looks gave me butterflies. Although we never admitted out loud that there was something between us, we both felt it.
We pretended we were just friends, but everyone saw the way you were looking at each other. I have often been asked why we are not a couple. I made excuses that I wasn't his type, that things wouldn't work out between us, or that I didn't want to ruin the friendship.
I felt like the idea of us was ridiculous, but I really wanted it. In my dream we were a couple. I've never known anyone who was so easy to love.
We pretended to be just friends, but we always crossed the line. Our hugs were long, no one wanted to break them. We always found excuses to touch each other. We joked about how funny it would be if we were on a date.
We pretended we were just friends, but we got jealous if either of us met the other person. We were happy and sad at the same time. The thought of him seeing someone else was driving me crazy. I wanted him whole, just for myself. The thought of sharing it with others was unbearable.
We pretended we were just friends, but when he came to the cafe for coffee, he looked at me as if I was the only one there. We stared at each other, I could almost feel his lips touching mine. My eyes were only on him, and his on me.
We pretended we were just friends, but we were constantly flirting and laughing as if we were much more. He always noticed all the changes in me. He kept telling me how much he missed me, even though it had only been a day or two since our last contact.
We pretended we were just friends, but we knew it was a lie. We were afraid of what would happen if she was brave enough to admit the truth.
And the truth was that he treated me as if we were more than friends. He treated me like he wanted me, like I wanted him.
But he wanted us to be just friends. I kept repeating his words in my mind: "Let's just be friends."
My world fell apart, because I knew we couldn't be friends anymore, because I'm afraid I'll fall even more in love with him. We can't be friends anymore because I love him but he loves another woman now. We can't be friends anymore because the pain would "kill" me. Maybe we'll be friends again someday, maybe...
If you ever find yourself in this situation, tell him/her. Granted, doing so risks ending your friendship, but you probably would anyway. Will you allow love to consume you, to die in your own way and hope that maybe... Stop if-is and follow your heart, emotions and stand up for yourself, for your love - for you!
