Do you believe that perfect relationships should always be free of arguments? Do you think that true love means that you never have to express your feelings? Do you believe that you have to endure pain to prove your commitment?
Love. If you have ever been convinced that suffering is an integral part of of love, it's time to change your perspective. Some of the lies we believe don't destroy a relationship all at once. They tear it apart, day after day, until there's nothing left but emptiness.
True love It's not a fairy tale without flaws., but it is also not a hell where one side must constantly suffer, remain silent, or justify the unacceptable.
When you accept false beliefs about what love should look like, you lay the foundation for disappointment, dissatisfaction, and heartbreak.
Not all pain is necessary. Not all compromises are noble. And no, it's not true that true love requires you to destroy yourself.
If you want to survive, you have to face what really destroys relationships – and stop believing the lies that society has sold you as truth.
1. Quarrels mean the end of love
Believing that a true relationship means perfect harmony without disagreements is a recipe for disaster. Every relationship worth maintaining involves conflict. The difference is how you deal with it. If you fear every argument, you will start to push problems under the rug – and what you push away will never dissolve on its own.
Unanswered questions and unspoken resentments will grow until they turn into a wall between you. Arguments are a normal part of healthy communication. It's only when you no longer want to talk about problems that the relationship is truly in danger.
2. The relationship must be perfectly balanced every day
If you think that the give and take in a relationship has to be strictly the same every day, you will soon become a prisoner of your own expectations. Love is not an accounting calculation. Sometimes you will have to carry more of the burden, other times your partner will. And that is normal.
If you count every step, every greeting, every effort, you will end up feeling more bitterness than happiness. A relationship is a dance, not a competition. And the right partner will understand that sometimes you deserve someone to hold the world when you can't.
3. Love must be difficult and painful
If you believe that love has to hurt, then you have bought into the biggest lie. Yes, every relationship requires work. Yes, it will not always be easy. But if love hurts more than it heals, if you fall asleep in tears more often than you fall asleep laughing, then this is not a relationship, it is a prison.
True love involves effort, but it also involves joy. If every conversation turns into a struggle, if every touch is cold, if every look hurts – you are in a relationship where you are slowly being destroyed. And that is not heroism. That is a waste of life.
4. Your partner has to guess what's bothering you.
If you think your partner has to read your mind, you're in for a long, lonely ride. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. If you expect the person next to you to sense your every frustration without clearly expressing it, you're setting unrealistic expectations.
People are not fortune tellers. If you shut yourself off in silence, you ignore the opportunity to be understood. Hiding your emotions creates a divide, not a connection. Say what's on your mind—clearly, loudly, and without shame. Your voice is a tool, not a weapon.
5. His jealousy and possessiveness are proof of love
If you think jealousy, lies, and control are romantic, then you have accepted the most toxic definition of love. Control is not caring. Threats are not protection. Lies are not evidence of caring. A true partner will not try to limit your freedom, will not set limits on who you can see, what you can wear, where you can go.
True love supports, not controls. It gives space, not imprisons. If you have to justify every step, if you live in constant fear of his reaction – that's not love. That's manipulation.
