I think the only way to forgive you was to stay as far away from you as possible. I had no choice because the closer I got to you, the worse it got. All the pain and wounds I thought were healed have reopened.
I realized that wounds heal only when you are not there. When your voice is no longer in my head. Only when you are far away, because every time I see you, you are, I can't help but wonder why and how?
How could you do all that you are? Why don't you feel guilty for leaving me when I needed you the most? How dare you look me in the eye when we meet? Are you the reason for my scars? How can you ask me to forget what was with a smile?
How can you expect me to open my heart to you again after you've stomped on it and broken it to pieces over and over again? How could you go on with your life as if nothing had happened?
You apologized only after your apology no longer meant - nothing. Why did you show up only after I learned to live on my own. Without you.
For me - you are gone! Photo: James Forbes/UnsplashI felt your presence only after years of getting used to your absence. You know when you teach people how to live without you, you also teach them how to never accept you back into their lives. You teach them that you no longer exist.
I guess the only way I could forgive you was yes I erase all memories. Maybe the good ones faded away too, or lost their charm because the pain clouded everything else.
You may think you've forgiven someone or gotten over the pain they've caused you until they say or do something that brings back all the words unsaid, all the unfinished business, and all the unanswered questions.
The truth is, you can't really forgive someone who never even tried to fix what they did. You can only accept him as he is and hope that one day time will heal all wounds and you will find an excuse for him in your heart.
I can't forgive you and I'm not sorry. You don't belong in my life anymore and it's better that way. You weren't my man, you were a stranger who crossed my path. Farewell, stranger!
