"It doesn't matter how long we've lived with limitations. If we walk into a dark room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been in darkness for a day, a week, or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it's illuminated. When we realize our ability for love and happiness, the light is on." - Sharon Salzberg
I look at the starry sky that speaks louder than a thousand words. I feel so light and calm. I smile sleepily at the universe, knowing it can sense that I'm happy. He knows that I let go of things that were suffocating me.
I learned to lose, lose everything I never needed.
I lost people. I lost dishonest friends. I've lost toxic lovers. I lost my love to the wrong people who cost me more than I was willing to give them.
I just didn't get along with some of them. Others have only brought me the realization that I am too vulnerable, that they are not good for me because they have brought me more pain than love. With these realizations came a healthy sense of self-sufficiency, which I increasingly accepted and nurtured with each loss.
I learned that I have to be my own priority, regardless of whether I am the priority of others.
I lost the belief that I was not worthy. I lost part of my awareness. The part that was always too aware of all the things she could never control or change. I lost the feeling of discomfort.
I lost the voices in my head that wouldn't shut up when I needed silence. I lost the feeling of being judged. I lost my sense of unwavering pride and ego.
I lost faith in perfection. I no longer believe that perfection exists. I lost my unwavering desire for flawlessness and perfection. I no longer think that the best life is the perfect life. And in the disappearance of perfection I found beauty.
I lost my prejudices. I let myself question everything I ever believed in, as if it wasn't true. I have learned everything I once thought I had learned. No bias.
I lost my feelings. I lost my illogical hope. I lost the desire to bet on something just because others wanted it. I lost the concept of regret. I lost my anger, resentment. I lost any feeling that was wrong or misdirected.
I lost some dreams. I realized that everything I dreamed about was not worth my dreams. My goals and mission changed, shifting from a burden to a pleasure. All because I allowed myself to be open, to realize that not all my dreams are really mine.
I lost the eternal need to always have more and be more. I learned to love who I am and what I have.
I lost my chances. I lost the opportunity to live somewhere else. I lost my chance to divorce. I lost an opportunity to succeed in a field that did not fill my heart. I lost all those opportunities because I let them go. If I had taken advantage of them, I would not have had the opportunities I have now. Losing those options only gave me new options. I learned that not every opportunity that comes my way is meant to be taken.
I lost the need for everything to be prearranged. Life is spontaneous, but I will constantly trust that my way of life will always be the most constructive and the least harmful.
I got lost to find myself again. I lost the things I had to lose and I realized that loss is not a merciless thing and neither is change. I lost everything I needed to start over.
I gave myself a real and pure opportunity to renew myself in the most authentic and pristine way - to truly become my true self. I allowed myself to lose everything, lovingly and gratefully.
I suggest you lose. Lose everything that limits you or puts you in a limited position. Lose everything you never felt was a part of you. Lose all skin that is not your own. Lose everything that limits you so that you can give yourself a chance and turn over a brand new leaf in life. Lose weight, pressure and susceptibility. Lose everything because that's the only way you can truly find – yourself!
