Romance is a veil of illusions. You dance with her, play with her and add a little magic to the relationship. And funny everyday moments creep into the relationship, discovering your own and your partner's weaknesses, getting to know your and your partner's true image.
One of definitions of love he says that love is when you know everything your partner is ashamed of and accept all his weaknesses and shortcomings.
A long-term partnership is not based on romance, it survives and thrives and develops thanks to a deep knowledge of bad, unpleasant and disturbing qualities, ways and situations. And in every relationship there is a moment when you first realize something that is uncomfortable and that you have to accept because it is part of your relationship.
We present to you what these moments can be like.
When your partner sees you without makeup for the first time
Many women perceive this as a big shift in intimacy, because most of the time they show their well-groomed face, which makes them feel safe and confident. When you are ready to wake up with someone, puffed up, frowning, this is already a higher level of trust and intimacy. You trust your partner, you are relaxed and grateful that you don't have to wear any clothes or a mask in front of him.
The first big fight
You will probably be surprised, unhappy, convinced that it is over, especially if raising your voice is not your way of communicating and if you try to avoid conflict in any way you can. It's perfectly okay to argue once in a while. It is important, however, not to insult or judge in a dispute, but to say what bothers you and how you feel about it. Learn to argue without unnecessary drama. In this way, you learn to set and respect boundaries.
Discovering unpleasant, strange habits
Everyone has some weird habits or behaviors that you won't know anything about until you really get to know each other, until you spend some time sharing a living space. These quirks are part of the privacy and intimacy you share with your partner when you're close—it's the privilege of trust.
You don't want her to see you cry. Danie Franco / UnsplashWhen you cry for the first time
You don't want your partner to see you crying, vulnerable - no one is beautiful when they cry. But the one who doesn't hold you when you cry is not for you. So if he cares, he will be worried and want to comfort you. Sometimes men don't know how to respond because a woman's vulnerability makes them feel guilty, so they just want it to stop as soon as possible.
When you cry, you need to say what you need or want, like for him to leave you alone or to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be okay.
Talk about menstruation
The first opportunity will be when you don't want to have sex during your period and you need to talk about it. If you have severe PMS and painful cramps during your period, your partner needs to know.
You can't always be perfect. Photo: Juli Kosolapova / UnsplashPast relationships
An ex-partner is part of the emotional baggage of you and your partner. Sometimes the conversation and past relationships shed light on a murky moment in your relationship, making things clearer for you. You are rightly afraid of such conversations, you can really find out some unpleasant things that you may not be able to deal with right away.
Body order
You go to the meeting well-groomed. What are the chances that you and your partner will be like this every day? Your partner will see you at your worst, which is normal and common, say with underarm hair, disheveled hair…
When you first get sick
You may feel terrible and try to isolate yourself from your partner while you are sick, but you are together to take care of each other.
Brutal honesty
It is a test of tolerance and communication. Maybe you just need to tell your partner that what he's doing is really bothering you, or that some of his behavior is completely inappropriate, or that he looks terrible in something, and you just want to explain why, calmly and logically. When something is true, then it reaches the other person, regardless of whether they were offended in the first place.
This leads to mutual communication about things that you are unsure or ignorant about, knowing that your partner will give you the right advice and tell you honestly if you've messed something up.
When your relationship endures all these moments and lasts, it means that you truly love each other.
