Your heart is tired. You can't do it anymore.
Let me hug you for a moment. I know how it is. You give and give. And you wait for a drop of love to fall on you, to give you back the strength to continue. When you receive it, that tiny desired drop, you feel filled for a few moments, but soon you are back to the same place, empty. You miss love.
You wonder why the person can't love you the way you love them. Why are you not her priority? Why, given everything, are you giving her even more of yourself? Do you think she will suddenly start appreciating your attention? Why do you hope to do something to encourage her to return your love?
When you give to another person, everything you feel, everything you know and have, you do it straight from the heart, without effort, you simply love and give yourself completely.
Never be ashamed of it. Never! Be proud to be vulnerable and emotional, it's wonderful, not everyone can live it. You're not weak if you text a person and wonder if maybe you shouldn't have texted them back in a few days, hoping that the silence will encourage them to come back.
And you keep on giving, loving. And no matter how much and in what ways you seek their attention, you end up empty. Some kind of invisible force pulls you to send the person even more messages, which they think is "crazy". But you are not crazy, there is nothing wrong with you, this is what love does and writes for you, who wants you to be loved, to be happy.
But you still yearn for that person, even though somewhere deep inside you know there's no point. You still hope. You become small. You are compromising your values. You silence your heart. And you just wait. Do not allow anyone to give negative words to your spirit. You have to feel safe in your heart, if you don't, you know something is wrong.
Heartache is trying to let someone into your life who would understand you, who would love you like you love him. You're thinking. What did you do? Did you give too much? Have you forgotten about yourself? Have you left your soul at the door just so you can feel a warm body next to you at night?
And at some point you break. You seem to have lost yourself. No, you're not lost. You know who you are - because you are the most caring person in the world. You yearn for someone to hug your heart, look you in the eye and see you and love you for who you are - completely.
But you want it so badly that you sell your soul to silence to feel a drop of what you give.
You realize you need a different kind of love. The love that is within you. You are that love. You inhale it. You live it. Without myself, I would never know what love is. You live it every day. It's yours. This is you.
Love is not always tingling and feelings for another person. It's work on yourself. You only feel that kind of love in the way you feel it, because it comes from you, because it is inside you.
How long should I stay? Until the moment you realize that the way you love is wonderful, that it fulfills you. As soon as you feel that you are losing yourself, it is time to leave.
