"Love is like war, you start when you want to, you stop when you have to." – Spanish wisdom
There are nights when you wonder if he will ever have the courage to choose you. If the day ever comes when you have him all to yourself. A time when he will love you with all his heart, without excuses and without reasons. Just him and you, in love.
You wonder if he will ever cut her out of his life, for you. You wonder if there will ever be a time when he plans a future with you. When he finally tells you he's only yours. A time when he will have no other options, when only you will be by his side.
You know in your heart that it will never happen. You're not leaving anymore. You can't do it anymore. You don't want anymore. You're sorry for how things turned out, but your journey has come to an end.
Maybe he's in pain. But that doesn't matter - you did it for yourself. You know you did something that your future self will thank you for. No matter how you feel right now, you had to do it. You know very well that it was for the best. For you. For him. For you two.
You had to end it, end whatever it was. It could be anything. No matter how things change, you know there is no way out.
You're scarred, maybe he is too. You will heal your wounds. No matter how hard you try, how you fight, you will always be who you are. Don't change. Never. You owe it to yourself to leave and save yourself from further pain.
The truth is, she would always be his second choice. That woman who will come after her. She would always be the one waiting for him and wondering if he was with her. A woman who would cry in his bed, wondering what he was doing wrong, why he wasn't enough, why she wasn't the first choice.
She would always be the one he loved, but never completely. The one he cares about, but not more than that. She would always be the one to call after her when she didn't have time. She would always be his backup plan when things didn't go well with her. You would always be his safety net because he thought you would never leave. That you will always wait for him to have complete power over you.
You know that you were never the first, that you were just "someone" around her. This is not the life you wanted, so choose yourself again! Put yourself in front of him, in the first place. Because you know the reality, you will never be his first choice!
He was your love. A love you will never regret. He was your love, but love doesn't always mean a happy ending. Sometimes great loves become great loves because they teach us great life lessons.
