A partnership is made up of thousands of pieces; some are complex and begin to fall apart after a while.
But in the search for perfection and love, you don't see them, because they fall apart slowly, day by day. Silent and insidious, without warning, until one day someone confronts someone with the fact.
The relationship becomes vulnerable, sensitive to the things that used to connect you. The world is collapsing. You feel disappointed, cheated. Doubt love, yourself! Did your partner ever love you or was it all one big lie from the beginning?
How a person leaves your life, how he ends a relationship, a marriage, how he presents his truth to you, reveals to you, who he actually is. Sometimes you will wonder if you even knew this person. Who was this person anyway? A stranger?
During the separation period, you can they lose mutual respect, they learn many things about each other that they never knew. Things that were bothering you that maybe you could resolve if you talked about it. In progress. It's never good to keep silent and keep grievances and mistakes in yourself. In affect you can destroy everything, which they built together over the years.
Communicate, even if there are tears. Communication is the key, which has already saved many ruined relationships.
If you can't find a solution, it's important that you leave respect for each other and the awareness that your relationship was wonderful for a while, filled with love, enthusiasm, passion, shared dreams. It doesn't make sense for you to argue day after day about who is to blame for the relationship fading, why it got to this point where there are no more common paths...
There is no point in yelling at each other, judging, insulting, ignoring each other. The pain will never go away. Show each other a healthy amount of anger, regret, sadness and empathy. Regardless, we're all only human, and with respect, you'll at least make the breakup a little easier.
The most cruel are sudden departures, without warning. The partner has a hunch, a sixth sense tells him that something is not right, that things are not as they should be, but still believes that everything is still good. He believes in fleeting hugs and sweet kisses. But all of a sudden, in a second, he/she - leaves, disappears, as if he/she was never in your life. Then to you something dies.
How can someone pretend that everything is as it should be, perfect, while constantly thinking about how he will leave?
Written below real the couple's harrowing story illustrates how someone can plan for months to leave without the other person knowing.
They went on a trip and there was no indication that anything was wrong. They walked hand in hand, looking for hidden cafes and giggling over coffee. They talked over dinner in candlelight and a glass of wine. After all these years, they enjoyed each other as they were still in love.
He knew he would be gone when they returned, but he didn't mention it with a word or a single action. Every kiss was a lie. How can someone be so false, ruthless, cruel and calculating?
Watch the dialogue that represents what you must not to do when parting!
"I'm going to leave, I emotionally left you a while ago."
"What do you mean? We were happy most of the time. Why didn't you tell me you thought we had a problem? Why didn't you give us a chance to save our marriage or give me a chance to fight for you, for us? When did you stop loving me? Did you ever love me at all?”
"React as you wish. I don't care how you go on with your life without me. Rather, be excited about your new life. You just became single.”
"We are not single. Just an hour ago we were a happily married couple. You were the love of my life. I don't know if I will know and be able to live without you. The thought of being with anyone else makes me despair. What kind of man have you become? How can you erase us from life, without warning, as if we never existed at all?”
"You gave me too much freedom and time for myself."
"You wanted me to trust you, and I did, I gave you the time and space you wanted so that we could be stronger together. I thought I respected your wishes and needs, I never expected you to use that time to find other women.”
"I don't want to worry about you. I only want to take care of myself. For your own pleasure.”
"I didn't believe that you would cheat on me, and I know you did a few times. I didn't leave, I stayed and justified your actions, defended you from others. I know, you've lost respect for me. I gave up a lot of things that were important to me, to you, to us, and all this means nothing to you? We don't mean anything to you?"
"The reason I seduced other women and cheated on you was because you were emotionally unavailable."
"You know that everything is the result of what you did. Any person with healthy boundaries and self-respect would have walked away, but I stayed loyal to you.”
"I don't want to watch you grow old and try to make it work for us."
"We all age, but the first sign of weakness is that you run away, that you look for youth in younger women. We promised to take care of each other in sickness and in health. For the first time in my life I feel old and useless.”
"Everything you told me is a lie. Life is not about right or wrong, good or bad. It's not about moral standards. It's just – for me.”
"I thought you wanted to be a good person. It seemed to me that you understand the value of a moral compass and strive to be a kind and honest person. You think that nothing is completely wrong, so everything is acceptable to you. You have become a man without morals, without compassion, without remorse, without a soul. But despite everything, I'm still in love with you."
"I know you are."
And he left. Gone from her life. He didn't care about anything other than finding his "lost" youth.
What kind of person can do such a thing? What kind of person puts the blame on their partner and refuses any responsibility for their actions? She plans for months and months how to leave and pretends to love? Does he act as if everything is perfectly fine? What kind of person is this? Every word is superfluous for such a man!
