Are you among the lucky three? Is there a spark of hostility in your relationship?
Every relationship is specific and involves a different balance between happiness and unhappiness. But there are some signs that in each of them reveal that something in the relationship is not working. Experts with of the Gotman Institute, where they have been studying relationships for 40 years, discovered that there are five types of couples!
- couples where both partners avoid conflicts;
- couples where partners support each other;
- couples where the partners fluctuate in mood;
- couples where the partners are hostile towards each other;
- couples where the partners are hostile towards each other, but also alienated.
Partners belonging to the first group, they accept the differences between people and do not try to change at any cost. They always try to find a common language and reach a compromise. They have certain clear boundaries.
Partners belonging to another group, they prioritize providing support, expressing kind words and praising each other. They believe that this is a sure recipe for a harmonious relationship. They are very emotional. Their debate is characterized by a lot of laughter. They seem to like to debate and argue, but they are not disrespectful or abusive.
For the third group of pairs seemingly characterized by instability, but partners in such relationships find a way to tell each other what is bothering them. They do not allow an argument to go too far and are always thinking about how to improve their relationship. The interaction of these couples is characterized by lightness and calmness. They place great emphasis on supporting and understanding their partner's point of view and are often sympathetic to their partner's feelings.
Partners belonging to the fourth and fifth groups, are always on edge. They insist that their point of view on a real or imagined problem be accepted at any cost. They do not understand each other and see every small objection as an attack coming from hostile motives. They don't support each other. These couples are like two armies fighting in a mutually frustrating and lonely showdown with no clear winner.
The recipe for saving relationships, according to the Gotman Institute, is a system called 5:1 ratio. The idea behind this system is that every bad thing you or your partner has done, said or forgotten should be replaced with five things that show your love. It can be a kind word, buying a gift, organizing a trip, some kind of service or anything else that will mean a lot to your partner.
It's worth trying and saving your relationship!
