What is the most common lie a man tells a woman to get what he wants: "I promise I'll never do it again."
Joe Duncan, writer who covers topics such as feminism, science, relationships, culture, health, psychology, mental health and politics, shared a great write-up on what men will NEVER admit to women. Here is his summary.
_ _ _
Our culture is filled with the idea that men tell women they love them (even when they don't) just to keep from feeling alone. But not all men lie. Most of them lie because they feel an endless need to belong to someone, to be loved, respected and cared for.
Most men are afraid, timid, insecure, sometimes feel insignificant and need love to feel fulfilled. And precisely because of this, they want to show others that they are perfect, that no one can do anything to them, that they are strong, invincible. But most are none of these.
Behind closed doors, they cry because they want love, sex, but haven't found anyone to settle down with. They become lonely, desperate, increasingly frustrated. It seems to them that they will never find that right person. It is true that there are many people in the world, but there are hardly any people with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life.
There are people who are attractive to you in appearance, but when you approach them with a bit of critical thinking and use at least a little common sense, you quickly realize that they are not who you thought they were. Men solve this problem by promising themselves that one day they will find the perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with. But until then, they will go on dates and have sex. This does more harm than good. Some of these men begin to idealize women, turning them into a fetish, almost taking away their independence before even meeting them. They must keep the image of a woman as spotless and clean as possible. Such men are the worst men for women, they are ticking time bombs who will do anything to keep reality in line with their fantasy. These are men for whom women are never good enough, no matter how good of a friend or wife they really are. Namely, such men need a fantasy, a romanticized ideal, and any human element or potential conflict (read: freedom of choice) on the part of the partner is unacceptable.
Many men have Weltschmerz syndrome, a pain in the ass that describes the depression and despair they feel when reality doesn't live up to their expectations. They naturally expect women, money, financial security... but none of these things are reality for most of them. Instead of admitting the truth, they lie to themselves and pretend that someone or something is standing in the way of what they truly deserve.
![Many men have Weltschmerz syndrome, a pain in the ass that describes the depression and despair they feel when reality doesn't live up to their expectations.](https://e7852c3a.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/asaf-r-ogyizsngu3y-unsplash-660x438.jpg)
What about chemistry? Attraction is not a choice. It is not a switch that you simply turn on or off and decide whether or not to have a relationship with someone. No matter how nice you are, no matter how interesting you are, you cannot force someone to be attracted to you. Attraction is not something that can be learned. It is or it is not.
If a man is unsure, if he is thinking about whether he wants to keep you or not, the answer is "no" - here "maybe" is not an option. And even though he knows that this woman is not his "soulmate", he will give her some time to have a little fun and not feel that cold loneliness that I talked about earlier.
The only difference is that a happy man does not need countless dates and "one-night stands" to fill the existential void in himself. And we men don't want to admit that, because that would be admitting our ridiculous standards and our constant failures. This burden is too heavy for almost every one of us. Very, very few men will admit to which “camp” they belong, or whether they belong to the “Mrs. Right" or the camp "Mrs. Right Now”. And the man who can do that is the best man! So how do you tell the difference?
Pay attention to what men value. Do they appreciate praise? Do they value material benefits beyond the basic necessities of life, such as health and nutrition? Are they addicted to these things? Do they need the latest car? Do they need expensive dresses? Do they constantly need, seek the affection of women? All these things put a strain on the relationship. We usually try to impose them on our partners, to impose responsibility on them, to "charge" them for the maintenance of such needs, even if they are not theirs. Right or wrong, this is reality.
But what's wrong with a man who drinks coffee from a cheap mug and reads a book he borrowed from the library? Or with a man driving an older car? With a man who isn't dressed in the latest fashion, with a man who only has eyes for you? Simple men are independent men. And independent men are the best men. They will not lie to you and say they want to be with you when they are not sure. They admit it and move on with their lives, because they don't need to force anything, especially not love.
Joe Duncan's manly advice to women is: "Look for a man who will be satisfied with little, because this is a man who solves his inner conflicts and will be with you as he really is, without lies."