It's time to stop believing the myth that every parent wants only the best for their child - there are people who cause so much mental damage to their offspring that it cripples them for life and prevents them from ever living. Alas, this is how toxic parents who destroy their children behave.
The meaning of parental of love, security and support you will start to be perfectly aware only when you hold your own child in your hands. But unfortunately, some people who have toxic parents they have never experienced it first hand - even if they tried to make their relationship with their parents healthy, healthy communication was always doomed to failure. Why?
Expression toxic parenting has countless explanations - usually such people are characterized as violent, emotionally immature, full of personal and mental disorders, experts say. In the early stages of growing up, children think that all parents are typical and are patterns of behavior that they have learned in their own home. something perfectly acceptable, but later they quickly confirm that the children in healthy families received genuine security, support and of love, which they never really got to know. Although it hurts, they realize that they have been living with toxic parents, which they destroyed. Their behavior is like this...
This is how toxic parents behave:
They do not provide security
Experts say that showing parental love is an important step in how to ensure that a child learn to be able to take care of yourself in the future. But some parents think the opposite and have even convinced their children that a cold attitude, without love, will have a positive impact on their lives.
The best way to check if you were provided with security in childhood is to analyze your own behavior - if it happens to you on a daily basis that you are completely destroyed mentally because of failure or rejection, then this kind of behavior most likely stems from toxic rejection from your own parents, who didn't provide you with the right amount of security and validation as a child, experts say.
Sometimes a cold relationship, of course, works, but without the love and security that a child desperately needs, parents will have a hard time raised an emotionally stable adult.
The attitude is based on criticizing
They say that parental criticism is the most honest... and it's also right that someone gives you one it opens your eyes to things, which at certain moments you are unable to look at objectively and with a degree of criticality.
But toxic parents behave this way they practice to the limit, because they blindly believe that this is the only way to prevent their children from making mistakes in life. Experts say that such behavior actually leads to the development of the child too strict attitude towards one's own being, which in turn affects his further life.
They demand the child's attention
Toxic parents tend to be emotionally immature and like islands in the form of a depraved man – this condition is manifested simply by the fact that from the child they demand attention, instead of them providing their attention to the child. Their own offspring become substitute for parents, who were once not guaranteed attention.
Usually, toxic parents believe that by behaving like this, they will establish a bond with the child, but in reality they build a parasitic relationship, which requires too much of the child's time and energy, while the latter should be engaged in learning other skills. As a result, such behaviors, experts say, affect the child to such an extent that in later ages he is unable to satisfy his own desires, because he believes that he must satisfy other people's wishes first.
The child is "to blame" for their horrible behavior
If you grew up thinking your parents were mentally and emotionally abusive to you because you DESERVED it, you probably lived in a family of toxic people, experts say. As a result, you practice such a pattern of thinking even today and persistently you condone other people's behavior, because that's what they taught you.
Toxic parents are exceptional manipulators who know perfectly well how to turn the situation in their favor in order to justify their own actions. The child then has to choose between two options: accept the fact that his parents are wrong, or internalize all the blame. He usually chooses another option.
The child is afraid of the parent, even though he is now an adult
Discipline is an inevitable part of education, however threats and creepy acts, with which parents are supposed to restore order, can permanently destroy a child's psyche, experts say. Respect and fear they don't always go hand in hand. In reality, children who were loved and supported were said to develop into happy individuals, which is not the case for children who lived with toxic parents. A child should not be afraid of a parent, so that this one should got respect.
Other signs of how toxic parents behave:
They only prioritize their own feelings: Although parents usually make the final decision on everything, they should consider the feelings of each family member, especially with children. Toxic parents constantly force children to suppress their own feelings in order to make them feel better.
They use money to control the child: Toxic individuals tend to buy gifts to make the child feel obligated to give them something in return. If he fails, they blame him and convince him that they did everything for him, and he pays them back.
The child is responsible for their happiness: Happiness comes from the individual, not external factors. Toxic parents tend to ask their child to give up the things that make them happy in order to make them feel happy.
How to get rid of toxic parents?
Removing toxic people from your life is an extremely difficult task, which you will have to take seriously. If you do not act in time, it will be much more difficult for you repair the emotional and psychological damage, which was done to you in your childhood. If you have experienced the above behavior patterns and they are hindering you in your life, it is right to gradually introduce some of the changes listed below, which will one day provide you with inner peace. Help from experts (psychologists, psychiatrists and psychotherapists) as well it will not be superfluous!
1. Stop trying to please them
It's normal to want approval from your parents, but to toxic individuals can never be satisfied. And it's good to know that. It is important to start realizing that you are living your life and you have the right to make your own decisions, which make you happy. If you please them, you will be their prisoner because you will forever seek validation and love from people who cannot provide it. If you give them that kind of power, they will THEY determined your worth. Do you really want this?
2. Set boundaries
Toxic people resist boundaries because they want to be in control, so it is also difficult to deal with toxic parents. You have to learn that there is nothing wrong if limit or even cut off contact with people, which suffocate you. Relationships have to be built on respect, and you can't respect people who constantly mistreat you. Boundaries will help you set expectations and limits!
3. Don't try to change them
Trying to change people who don't want to change is complete loss of energy and time, which will end up frustrating you. Rather focus on what which you can control, that is, how you react to your own parents, your decisions and behavior.
4. Be careful what you share with them
Trust takes a long time to build, av it can crash in seconds. Be careful what you share with people you know will use the information. It doesn't say anywhere that you have to share everything with your parents, just the information that you know is there. share securely in se feel comfortable, when you talk about them.
5. Take care of yourself
Dealing with toxic parents is stressful, stress affects your emotional well-being and physically health, that's why it's all the more important to take care of yourself. Start with the basics like eating, resting, sleeping, exercising, connecting with positive people, admitting your feelings, getting support, having fun... Only then will it get easier set boundaries and rejected that which is not acceptable to you.
Good luck!
