"Somewhere in some corner of our hearts, we are all still students." - Rabindranath Tagore
A person always needs a conclusion, so that he can leave the matter behind, so that the unsaid and painful things do not attach to him like lead weights on his shoulders.
How can you shed those weights? How to come to a conclusion? There are three steps ahead of you.
1. Admit that you are hurt
It's hard to admit that someone has hurt you. You assume that if you show yourself and others that you are hurt, that it is your weakness. Or that there is something wrong with you because you still feel pain after all this time.
If you feel hurt, just feel hurt. If you ignore the pain, the pain will not go away; it just means you won't see the impact it has on your life.
Do you feel like you can't trust anyone and connect with people because you're afraid of reliving your previous pain? When you recognize your pain, let yourself feel it. No matter how silly or uncomfortable the emotions are, allow yourself to feel them fully. Usually, painful feelings are trying to tell you something about yourself, and you can't move on until you accept the lesson.
2. Forgive the one who hurt you
To forgive does not mean to forget. You must forgive those who have hurt you, that is, you must let go of your anger and resentment towards them and stop thinking that they are responsible for what they have done. They hurt you. It's over. Do not allow your thoughts to leave you with doubts. Don't let them hurt you more. Enough.
Dismissal cannot be conditional. It cannot depend on whether the other person is sorry or not. Many people will either think they did nothing wrong and don't want to apologize, or they've forgotten that whatever happened between you even happened.
Don't wait for apologies because then you will never move forward.
3. Tell them the last words
It's hard to find closure when you know the other person has a completely different take on what happened. But the fact is that two people can have very different understandings of what happened. Also, if you can't tell them your closing thoughts, you can say them anyway. Say them and move on.
Above all, praise the attitude. With the objectivity that time gives, honestly assess the positives and negatives of the relationship. Write down the kind of relationship you want from that moment forward. Go ahead, someone might be waiting for you around the first bend.
