I wish everything was different. I thought we'd find our way back if we just tried hard enough. If we fight hard enough. If we do our best.
I don't know why, the universe didn't respect that if we were willing to risk so much to be together?
But that's not how it works. Some things they just don't work, even though you sincerely believe they should work. It's not meant for them.
I hoped. You hoped there might be another chance for us. But we are not meant for each other.
If I was, then I would have sacrificed everything when we had the chance. If you were, you wouldn't be looking for other women to fill your time when we weren't together.
If you were, you would tell me how you feel. If she were I would tell you what I feel, even if it scares you.
Remember, our genuine connection, the ease with which we opened up to each other. our chemistry, which made the whole thing seem unreal and sensual.
Tender moments, when we held hands and made silent promises that one day we would be together, that we would overcome all obstacles.
But instead we pushed each other away, moved away. Instead of talking, we looked to others for answers to distract from the emptiness and pain.
We were spinning in a circle bad habits. Although we said that next time we will do it differently, it is better that we have our whole lives to find out what suits us.
I still occasionally pick up the phone and want to text you about something that happened. I know you do too. It still hurts me to see that you are gone, that we are gone.
I know it's okay to miss you because everything we had was strong different - ours.
And that's it, that's all. We are not meant for each other. The universe knows!
