When words hurt: "Polite" comments about weight that are actually rude

Weight is a touchy subject — and these frequent but inappropriate comments aren't as kind or helpful as you might think.

Your observation that losing weight makes someone more attractive

Weight loss takes a lot of effort and is often very noticeable, so it seems reasonable to praise someone for losing a few pounds. Unfortunately, this common compliment is based on the assumption that losing weight is necessary to look better, which the person may interpret as not looking good before. Such comments can reinforce social pressures about appearance and affect self-esteem. Furthermore, these comments may overlook the fact that weight loss is not always due to healthy reasons or intentions. Instead, focus on praising the person for their achievements or qualities that are not related to physical appearance.

"I don't think you really need to lose weight!"

Weight is a personal matter for each individual and their reasons for gaining or losing weight is not something they should share. Sometimes, however, this comment stems from a concern that the person may be doing something unhealthy. If you think your loved one may have an eating disorder, talk to a professional about the best way to approach them. Inappropriate comments about weight, even if they come from concern, can make a person feel even more isolated. Instead, try to be supportive and empathetic without focusing on weight per se.

Simplifying weight loss

A very common myth about weight is that it is completely under our control and that if one works hard enough, one can achieve the desired weight. People may say to "watch your desk" or exercise more often. Comments like these, however, can have the exact opposite effect. Weight loss is complex and involves many factors, including genetics, medical conditions, and lifestyle. Instead of simplifying, offer support and understanding to anyone who decides to lose extra pounds.

Providing unauthorized dietary advice

Let's be honest, these tips are definitely annoying, especially if you don't know someone's personal health history or goals. Every body is different, so it's impossible to generalize and assume that something that worked for you will work for others. Unless someone specifically asks for your advice, your “helpful” suggestions about diets or exercise routines are really useless. Instead of sharing your advice, be willing to listen and offer support.

Telling someone not to worry about what they eat

What's the harm in offering your favorite food and sharing something you love? You feel that there is no need for anyone to feel guilty if they sin once. But maybe not everyone thinks so. Some people may have health reasons or personal goals that make them avoid certain foods. Encouraging them to eat can make them feel uncomfortable or even guilty. Respect their choices and don't force them to eat food they don't want to eat.