Are you interested in what are the most common causes of divorces and separations?! Read on.
What are the most common causes of divorces and breakups? Each couple would probably be able to answer you differently, but the fact is that these causes are often quite similar. The end of a marriage or relationship is so often the result of an accumulation of unresolved problems, resentment quarrels and old wounds. It is important that we not only solve problems on the fly, but face them in a constructive way.
1. An argument that gets out of hand
An argument that gets out of hand is one of the most common reasons for divorce. When partners lose control of their emotions and use insults or put each other down, they damage the emotional bond between them. Such arguments lead to resentment, feelings of anger and pain, and in the long run, the partners drift apart. If couples do not learn how to resolve conflict constructively, arguments can repeat, escalate and cause irreparable damage. In such an environment, coexistence becomes almost impossible, as every conversation seems like a new opportunity for an argument.
2. Unsolved problems
Some of the causes of divorce are quite obvious. Problems that arise and remain unresolved are like time bombs in a relationship. Couples who ignore each other for a few days after a fight, pretend nothing happened, or humbly apologize, often out of fear of fighting again, do not resolve the underlying issues. Conflict-avoidant couples may choose to remain silent or avoid these topics, but the result is the same – problems remain unresolved and become emotional landmines.
3. Opening emotional wounds
Everyone has emotional wounds from the past that can be triggered by certain events or words. In a relationship, these wounds can be inadvertently opened when a partner says or does something that reminds us of past painful experiences. When this happens, the individual overreacts or withdraws, causing further conflict and misunderstandings.
4. Accumulation of resentment
Constant arguments, emotional distance, triggering of emotional wounds and accumulation of unresolved problems take their toll. The past, which should be full of good memories and feelings, becomes riddled with injuries and wounds that occasionally reopen, creating the basis for smoldering resentment. Both partners are extremely sensitive to negativity; but everything that is positive seems like an oddity. Such a dynamic causes both partners to feel trapped in a circle of negative emotions and frustrations.
5. Lack of common interests and connection
Some couples try to avoid the aforementioned problems with distraction. Thus, they are no longer partners, but become only parents focused on the children's activities, or workaholics who do not invest even an atom of energy into their relationship. When the children grow up and become more independent, or when the partner retires, the glue that held them together disappears. The thought of spending the next 20 or more years as roommates becomes unbearable.
