Everyone is in a hurry. No one takes time, not for themselves or for love, let alone a serious partner. Men and women embark on brief romances and complain that they lack love.
There used to be people who were married, raised children together and lived a peaceful life. Today, it is increasingly difficult to find a partner to share life with and live with in the long term.
Philosopher and writer Paul Hudson wrote down 7 reasons he sees as the main culprits for the lack of love today.
1. The pursuit of immediate gratification
They also call today's generation of young people aged 20-30 Y generation, one of their specialties is seeking instant gratification. We have grown up in a culture that encourages the desire for material and spiritual things that can be obtained now and immediately! A mobile phone was a status symbol. Diploma is an expression of intelligence!
These days, we order food over the phone, if we are bored, we just turn on the internet and already read this and that. If we want to reach a destination, we just type it in the navigation, if we want sexual stimulation, there are pornographic websites.
Such things have their practical side, but in the long run they make us slaves to a pleasure that is not appreciated - because it is so readily available. Pleasure thus becomes a habit, and habits harm the romantic side of a person, because love is not designed as instant gratification, but a long-lasting feeling and effort.
2. Values are disappearing
It seems that modern culture glorifies vices – from excessive use of alcohol, cigarettes to drugs and various intoxicants. It is these substances that create the illusion of well-being and fun, a state in which we do not need another person to feel fulfilled or happy. Why bother trying to find happiness in love, if just a few glasses of your favorite drink brings happiness?
Alcohol has become your partner. Photo: Dylan De Jonge / Unsplash3. It's all about sex
In general, people today are much more prone to short-term adventures than ever before. More and more, sexuality is characterized only as pleasure without love, and relationships that bring satisfaction without problems or obligations are encouraged - for example, friendships with privileges, open relationships... A sexual partner is only a means to achieve pleasure.
4. Lack of compromise
According to the theory of egoism, there is complete lack of compromise. A relationship where just one mistake is enough to judge how someone will not suit us or reject us so that we will not give them a chance is very superficial. Completely different values are certainly an obstacle to a relationship, but the idea that there is a relationship in which people agree without the need for compromise is a complete illusion.
5. People are driven by selfishness
Everyone the individual is selfish, because the realization and preservation of one's own goals is in accordance with evolutionary theory, in which the strongest survive, i.e. those who take care of themselves. Thus, as a normal value, he focuses exclusively on his own needs and wants, without thinking about other people. Two egoists can never work together - and this is an increasingly common reason for the breakdown of love relationships.
6. Relationships have become a sport
The goal of every romantic relationship is, according to your idea, to find a partner for a long-term relationship and create a family. Although this does not always happen, such a trigger brings an aspect of romance to the relationship. On the other hand, today people enter into relationships for sex, temporary fun, or with predetermined restrictions - I won't get married, I don't want to have children, we will break up quickly...
You decide on fleeting one-night stands and wonder where love is, Photo: Dainis Graveris / UnsplashAll this results in a reduction of romantic expectations, the daydream disappears and all this kills the idea of love.
7. There is always someone better
The media, advertising campaigns, social media celebrities, beautiful Photoshopped people smiling from the front pages all tell us that they exist perfect people. Everyone wants to make the most perfect version of themselves, and for that you need the perfect partner.
Judgment based on physical appearance or other preconceptions (he's not doing a good enough job, she's not attractive enough...) brings calculation into love, which is the number one enemy of achieving romantic happiness. It is fashionable to leave your partner for better, younger or more desirable persons.
