What is it like to be in a relationship with a narcissist? He's everything you've ever wanted. However, your prince charming soon turns out to be a villain and seeks to destroy you. It needs endless attention and validation. Nothing seems to be good enough for him.
You find yourself constantly tiptoeing around him but getting nothing from him but reproaches and criticisms. He is easily angered and his anger quickly develops into rage, which he expresses through verbal or even physical violence.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like being with someone who needs constant praise. They take everything personally because beneath their perfect self-image lies a deep self-loathing. A narcissist hates himself for being who he is, that's why he needs constant attention and approval.
A narcissist is self-obsessed. He only looks out for his own needs. He lacks empathy, so you will always feel lonely and misunderstood around them. You won't feel loved. This arrogant being will destroy your life and your will to live.
But if you think that eventually the narcissist will come to his senses and start loving and caring for you - you are wrong. A narcissist is incapable of being in a healthy and loving relationship. Therefore, their relationships are short-lived.
A narcissist will hurt your feelings and never apologize. In fact, he'll make you feel like you're the one who should be apologizing to him.
To those who have never experienced narcissistic abuse, victims of this type of abuse may seem faced with a simple decision: leave or stay in an abusive relationship.
But the truth is, leaving a long-term toxic, abusive relationship is actually more difficult than leaving a positive and harmonious relationship. The reason for this is that narcissists are very skilled at manipulating his victims and playing mind games. They can also hide their true form.
There is no such thing as advice that will convince someone in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser to leave them until they themselves feel this inner transformation and make a firm decision to end the abuse and say to themselves: I've had enough of this. I deserve something much better than this.
Until they make that decision consciously, there's not much other people can do to change their mind, other than offer their understanding and support.
How to leave a narcissist?
1. Don't give him a second chance
Do not believe their flattery. When you leave a narcissist, he will try to lure you back, especially if you were the one who left him so he could leave you. He wants to be the one to leave because everything has to be the way he wants it to be.
But if the narcissist doesn't want you to leave because he still hasn't found another offer, he'll probably be all sweet and loving, begging you to come back and telling you he's going to change. Of course they're lying. Don't risk giving them another chance.
2. Don't let him know you're leaving
Don't tell a narcissist you're leaving him, because he'll either start love-bombing you to keep you around because of the traumatic relationship, or his behavior will become dangerous to you and may even become physically violent.
So, leave in silence and never look back.
3. Reconnect with your family and friends
Being in a relationship with a narcissist means being with someone who will cut you off from your closest friends and family. It will isolate you so that you remain attached to them. He may have even told you lies about them because he didn't want anyone near you.
That's why it's so important to start reconnecting with your family and friends. Explain to them what happened to you. Tell them about the abuse and ask them to help you.
4. Avoid him
Even though you've left the narcissist, you may be tempted to go back to him when real life hits you. When you're home alone, the brain tends to remember the good times you spent with him while blocking out all the bad things he did to you.
That's why it's crucial to not only leave it, but make sure you stay away from it.
5. Do not forget about manipulation
It doesn't matter how many chances you give a narcissist, the end result will always be the same. You will end up heartbroken. And each broken heart will hurt more than the last.
Would you like to go through the ups and downs with them again, knowing that it will never lead to a stable and peaceful relationship? Do yourself a favor and walk away and never, ever look back.
