People who are emotional masochists feel 'at their best' in painful relationships. Sometimes past trauma makes them think they deserve it. They often go back to the people who caused them emotional pain and have a hard time setting boundaries with the people who hurt them. Here are some signs that indicate that you are an emotional masochist.
You keep going back to the same person who hurt you
Despite warning signs, harmful behavior patterns and obvious mistakes, you return to the same partner, which keeps hurting you. This happens because you still think you don't deserve better. If you don't get over old childhood wounds, you can always be hurt by the same person you keep coming back to.
You criticize yourself
If you spend a lot of time talking to yourself in a critical way, this is another sign of emotional masochism. Whether you've internalized an abusive parent or a cruel partner, you spend a lot of time in negative self-talk.
You love drama
When in your life no drama, you create it, sometimes intentionally, other times unconsciously. You might feel dead inside, because you are addicted to chaos and conflicts that keep your adrenaline pumping. However, it is necessary to realize that it is a negative energy that affects you and your life.
You are surrounded by mean or violent friends, family and partner, and the common denominator is you. Perhaps because of your past, you feel comfortable with such people, but your self-esteem is so bad that you think that's all you deserve.
You are breaking healthy relationships
If you are an emotional masochist, you find healthy relationships boring, so you end them again. Such relationships are unfamiliar to you because they don't involve constant ups and downs, because that's what you're used to. You may not even realize that you are severing relationships that are healthy because the gentle closeness makes you uncomfortable and you look for a way out.
You start an argument to create passion
It's hard to know if someone cares about you unless they do you argue with that person. Quarrels allow you to make passionate love and a sense of intimacy.
You want confirmation, but you don't get it
In every way you want confirmation by people who don't give you confirmation. In this way, you are causing yourself pain.
Let people "walk for you"
You don't set boundaries and allow people to take advantage of you. You also tend to want to please everyone, whether they respect you or not.
You like hanging out with unhappy people
You tend to be around people who are unhappy and pessimistic about life. In the company of people who themselves they see as victims, you feel at home.
If you recognized yourself in any of the signs listed above, it may mean that you have unresolved issues from childhood and negative behavior patterns. Once you work this out, you will realize that you deserve to be happy and worthy of love, attention and support.
