It all started so well - he was attentive, funny and with bright eyes he promised to take care of me. We wove our love into long talks and smiles, and I thought we were destined for each other. But then it started to change. Slowly, imperceptibly, but surely. He became angry, cold.
And me? I stayed. Not out of love, but out of fear. Why did I persist, despite everyone telling me to go? Maybe because it's easier to stay in the known than step into the unknown.
The first years of our marriage were full of love. Life seemed like a fairy tale, even though we both carried the baggage of the past. He never unpacked his. Instead, he repressed it until it erupted in anger and resentment. I was sure I could change it. That love, that mighty force, healed all his wounds. I gave, supported him, justified his behavior - all in the name of a "better tomorrow".
But that "tomorrow" never came. Instead, I woke up to a day where I was the one who gave more and more and received less and less. His outbursts became more frequent and his sense of loneliness deepened. But I didn't leave. Why? Because I was afraid. Not him, but an unknown world outside of our relationship. I was afraid to be alone, to start over, and I thought maybe I deserve what I have.
I persevered for a long time, hoping that the day would come when something would change. When he will be the man I fell in love with again. But that day never came. Instead, I realized that Mr I can't change it – but I can change myself and my life.
When I finally left, it was the hardest, but at the same time the most liberating step of my life. I finally decided yes I deserve something more. That it's time to take care of myself. And today I know that I didn't stay too long. I was there exactly as long as I needed to realize my worth.
I stayed because I believed in love and hope. I left when I realized that love must not destroy me. I left because I deserve more.
