Genetics is only half the game. The other half is education.
Children are a direct product of their environment, so what happens when parents constantly set bad examples and teach them bad behavior? The answer is simple. Monsters are created. They may be cute little monsters, but they're still monsters. 🙂
When parents tolerate bad behavior, their children will display the same bad behavior.
Here are examples and parenting tips for bad child behavior that you shouldn't teach or do in front of your kids, as seen by Alex Alexander of YourTango.
1. Promoting violence as a solution
A few weeks ago I overheard the most horrific conversation between a grandmother and her seven or eight year old grandson. She was giving him instructions on how to fight. Her words: "Next time, don't wait to go tell the teacher. Just hit.” The boy's mother enters the scene. The grandmother repeats to her the words she said to the boy. She just nods her head. If a high school student attacks another student and then the other student hits him back, that is self-defense. But teaching a seven-year-old boy to fight is just ridiculous.
If self-defense is not truly justified, retaliation and physical violence are never a better solution than relying on people to protect you.
Could this little boy grow into a man who takes matters into his own hands instead of calling the police? Quite possible. And could it land him in jail later? Definitely. Why? Because his grandmother and mother taught him to respond to violence with more violence.
2. Showing poor sportsmanship
We've all seen parents who live through their child's talents and act too aggressively - accusing, yelling and cursing. These parents say their child's team lost for xzy reason, but certainly never because the opposing team was actually better.
At my daughter's soccer game last weekend, the mother of the opposing team yelled throughout the game: "Catch her! Knock her down!” Seriously? Knock my daughter down? This is not a boxing ring, this is football. Children need to learn to value doing their best, not being the best. If you always put your child on a pedestal, he will forever be a failure.
3. Disrespect for authority
Speaking of sports, whether you're arguing with a referee or yelling at a coach, if you think it's okay to undermine their authority in front of your child, then you're wrong.
Children need to learn that everyone makes mistakes, even adults. It's part of life. If you must express an opinion, do so in a calm, respectful manner and not in front of your children. By belittling an authority figure in front of a child, you remove the respect the child has for that person. This will make it difficult for everyone to interact in the future.
4. Rampage on the road
No, you didn't just drive a solid line to pass me with two kids in the back seat of your car! I was already a few kilometers over the speed limit myself. It is not right to break the law and show road rage in front of children.
5. Cursing
I don't like to hear a child say "shit". The grocery store grandma and many other parents like her don't see shit as a bad word. But remember, ugly vocabulary falls on fertile ground.
6. Taking advantage of other people's mistakes
Do you point out mistakes and use them as an opportunity to teach your children not to take advantage of another person's mistakes?
My mother used this method when I was growing up. When she wasn't charged for something at the checkout, even after a week, she returned to the store to pay for those things. If you want honest children, show honest behavior.
7. Being mean
Why should you refrain from verbally attacking others in front of your children? Is an answer even necessary?
8. Texting while driving
When my daughter was six years old, I caught her watching me while I was texting and driving. I felt uneasy that by doing this she would think texting while driving was safe. Not wanting to be responsible for her or anyone else's death due to phone use, I vowed to stop texting while driving.
9. Avoidance of liability
Having a job is important, so is taking care of the house, paying off debt. Be a citizen who cares about society and the environment, because you are leaving all this to your children and grandchildren. Transfer global responsibility to your children.
10. Showing intolerance
Refrain from making nasty comments when you pass a homeless person asking you for money. Teach your children to have open hearts, especially for the elderly and disabled. Help break down prejudices and stigmas by not perpetuating them. Even if your life is difficult right now, it doesn't mean it always will be.
If we want to raise well-behaved, independent and self-confident children, we must demonstrate and radiate these same qualities ourselves. At least most of the time. At least when they're watching. At least that way we know we did everything we could.
