Famous divorce lawyers have analyzed their clients and discovered patterns that show why various marriages have broken up. Together with relationship counselors, they created these extremely interesting and good tips for maintaining a partnership!
Their experiences are mainly negative, but they discover what caused their clients' marriages to break up. From this rich treasure trove of experiences, we can draw really good advice that will save our marriage or partnership!
We find it hard to believe that divorce lawyers would be the best source of marital advice. But there are those who, through their many years of practice, observe relationships and carefully analyze the reasons for marital shipwrecks. The experience of divorce lawyers is a real treasure that should not be overlooked.
The partner should take precedence over the children
This is not the most popular advice, especially for those with children. But after studying many divorcing couples, one of the main reasons couples drift apart is that they often put their children before their relationship. For many women, the children become the center of their lives, and they often neglect the partner relationship. Just as they disregard sexuality. Unfortunately, this is often the most common argument for divorce. Today we are all busy with work, home and children. It's really not difficult to place children in front of the person with whom we share the bed, thinking that he is always there - but the truth is that couples often "cool off" in this way. This does not mean that children should be neglected, but that they should be placed immediately after the partner relationship, which must always come first. You will be with your partner until death. The children, however, will grow up and sooner or later successfully leave home. Your relationship with your partner is the most important. Also for your future happiness!
The key to a lasting marriage is not love, but tolerance
Can you tolerate your partner's whims? Even the ones that get on your nerves? Don't go into marriage thinking that this behavior will go away, change, or improve. Flies only get worse as you get older, so if you can't tolerate them now, it won't get any better in the future either! This is also why tolerance is crucial. The latter is not romantic, but it is absolutely necessary in marriage!
Notice the good things, even in the bad!
In most divorcing couples, lawyers see absolute positions and often the worst possible accusations. Rarely good things that are often forgotten. Good things must also be seen and weighed. Above all, it is necessary to be self-critical to a certain extent and try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. In most cases, the inability to understand how the partner feels is the reason for the emergence of extraordinary problems in marriage. Notice the good things, not just the bad!
But sometimes you feed your partner's ego!
As silly as it sounds, your partner wants to feel attractive, witty, smart, beautiful and desirable. Married people tend to cheat for a very simple and easily convincing reason, because someone else gives them attention and praise that they don't have at home, where they don't feel good in their own skin. This is especially characteristic of women who easily succumb to compliments, often not very handsome, but brave men. All because of successful blowing on the soul. The same applies to men who often jump over the fence precisely because of a lack of attention from their partner. Many times also because their women neglect them in the basic needs of eternal "hunters". You know - humans were once animals and mating is in our nature. Much more so than loyalty, which is more of a cultural value than not.
15+ secrets of strong and successful couples, which are a prerequisite for a successful relationship
Don't wait until the last second to save your marriage
Work on your marriage, even if it is still a good marriage, because later it may be too late and the damage irreparable in the form of loss of trust, hope and desire. Work doesn't mean going to a counselor, it can be something as banal as drinking tea together in the evening. These rituals will connect you and electrify you. They go to bed together, talk in it and kiss each other before going to sleep. Certain habits can bring you together despite the daily stress and in the long run solve and alleviate the problems that befall every couple.
Choose the right moments, for the right topics
When making important decisions, making requests or criticisms, it is crucial to do it at the right time - while the partner is in a good mood and there is no need to focus on something else at the moment (for example, an important business project). Many quarrels arise precisely because of the bad choice of the moment, i.e. the inability of people to control themselves even a little in their dissatisfaction. So solve things at the right moment.
15 quotes that will help you stay happy in your marriage and avoid divorce
Be aware that you cannot change your partner!
Once people show you what they are like, that's what they are. The idea that you can change someone with your beliefs is misplaced and often completely misguided. Many people adapt to their partners and even follow their partner's cues. Many of them even draw from themselves those character traits that their partners like. The idea of what your partner should be is only your idea. Not your partner's idea. The point of marriage is to live with someone we like just the way they are. This should be remembered every time we want to change our marriage partner.
We show love with little things
Nothing saves a marriage better than little things and your willingness to "gift" these micro actions to your partner. Kind words, gentle touches, support, a smile, this is what keeps love alive. And the fact that you know exactly which little things are the ones that mean a lot to your partner.
Good communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship
Most relationship problems stem from poor communication. Few people realize that words can hurt much more than physical abuse. It is the words that echo in the individual's head and cause wounds that often cannot be healed.
Divorcing couples have poor or no communication, and if people really talked about their feelings in a timely manner, there would be far fewer divorce proceedings. To maintain a good marital relationship, you need to talk about the conflict. However, arguing indefinitely is not the solution. What you say will greatly affect your long-term relationship with your partner.
Listen actively
Listen to each other when you argue. Really listen. Try to understand your partner and their point of view, even if you disagree. Give them the right to feel good and think what they want. This way, you will quickly notice that the argument has become irrelevant.
Don't think that anything will be better in the second marriage!
The biggest mistake is to think that marriage with someone else will be better. We always get roughly similar things from people. It happens not infrequently that your new partner utters the same words of reproach as your old partner. This can be a clear sign that this problem is in you. If you change, the world's attitude towards you will also change. Marriage is always work, and if you don't want to work on a relationship, don't get married. If you are not willing to change and mature personally, then you will have a hard time in the relationship called partnership. Practice has shown that building a good relationship in the second or third is usually even more difficult than in the first. It is up to you to realize that you are the center of your problems and not blame others for tracking.
