"Everything will be fine, it's just a matter of time." - Unknown author
Sometimes common paths diverge and memories remain in you. Memories that make you yearn and feel empty. Then you need some encouraging words to lift you up.
Remind yourself that you are just fine.
1. It's okay
However you feel at this moment, it's OK. If you miss them, that's OK. If you're mad at them, that's OK. It's okay to feel like you don't want to even think about dating anyone else. The feelings will eventually fade in time. You don't need to ignore them or pretend you're fine.
Cry, scream, throw something at the wall (preferably a pillow). Let the feelings flood your body because that's the only way to process them. And eventually you'll be ready to let them go.
2. You are not alone
This is not meant to diminish the importance of what you are going through, it is just a reminder that many of you have been where you are now and been through it. Some are still in the middle of it. At this very moment, some are rushing blindly and headlong down the road that will lead them to where you are now.
Take solace, if only in this. In this way, you will realize that you are not alone in this and that there is nothing wrong if you feel the way you do.
3. We couldn't give you what you need
It's totally OK to miss them, but don't forget why they're no longer in your life. You can easily romanticize them and draw pictures and repeat words. Pleasant feelings, how you felt with them.
Don't forget all the times they let you down. The ones that made the pain bring tears to your eyes. Don't erase all the good, but remember that they couldn't or didn't want to be the person you deserve.
4. The feeling will pass
You won't miss them forever, and maybe that's a bittersweet thought. The day you stop missing them is the day the memories fade, even though you may still not be ready to forget them.
Maybe you're ready to feel okay again, but you're not sure how to do it yet. One day you will be ready to let go and forget everything. And if that day isn't today? That's okay too.
5. Be kind to yourself
Don't think that you shouldn't miss them because it's been a long time since you broke up, or because they decided not to fight for you, or for any other reason.
Be kind to yourself for being brave enough to love them, to miss them. Be kind to yourself for doing the best you can.
6. Take as much time as you need
Missing them doesn't mean you're not healing your heart and soul, it just means you need a little more time. There is nothing wrong with that. Grief has no timeline. Don't look at this as a setback, but as another step in the healing process.
7. Talk to someone about it
Don't be ashamed of how you feel. Maybe you're embarrassed because you think you can't miss them anymore. Talking about it and them is another step in the healing process and people who love you will understand you.
8. Maybe you don't miss them at all
It's hard to tell the difference between actually missing a person or missing the feelings you had around them. So ask yourself, do you really miss them? Or do you miss that feeling that accompanied you when you were with someone who made you feel things you may have never felt before?
Do you really miss them or miss the potential you saw in them? Did you love a real person or a person you wanted to see?
9. It doesn't matter if they don't miss you
Some well-meaning people will tell you not to waste your time missing someone who doesn't miss you. Although they are right on the one hand, it doesn't matter. The heart wants what it wants, and now it wants them. It won't be like this forever, but it's OK for now.
10. You don't have to give up hope
That doesn't mean you have to stop living and wait for them, but this moment is so perfectly fine if you're feeling optimistic. If you hope that when you grow personally, you will return to each other. Sometimes time really is the biggest problem you face. You don't have to write them off completely if you're not ready to take that step.
Do what feels right – for you.
