How to tell if you have an emotionally intelligent boss or a narcissistic boss.
Boss, who is aware of himself, his limitations and is capable of self-reflection, is an emotionally intelligent boss. He is empathetic and attuned to the emotions of the people in the room, and he is aware of his mistakes and does not blame others for them. Who wouldn't want a boss like that?
Empathy, self-confidence, social awareness and emotionally regulated communication can be indicators that you have an emotionally intelligent boss. The absence of these qualities, however, may indicate a boss with a lot of narcissistic problems. An emotionally intelligent boss feel the feelings of the people around him and consistently explains to them why he made a decision that is not to their liking. Although he does not grant every request of his employees, he expresses sincere respect and understanding for their well-being. This allows employees to feel visible, understood, respected.
Leaders with emotional intelligence and social awareness know their subordinates. For example, they know that one of his employees has lost a child, so they avoid family stories in the company.
Their ability to be emotionally attuned to others allows them to refrain from saying anything offensive, triggering, marginalizing or devaluing. On the other hand, a superior who lacks social awareness rarely considers the feelings of others. They are completely focused on what they think and do not realize how their words and actions affect others.
Is your boss emotionally intelligent?
These are the statements of emotionally intelligent leaders versus what a narcissistic boss would say.
1. “You have every right to feel that way.” – “Get over it.”
2. “I understand what your views are.” – “Change your attitude.”
3. "I would feel the same way if I were you." – “You are too sensitive.”
4. “I understand how you feel.” – “Grow up.”
5. "I bear part of the blame myself." – "It's completely your fault."
6. “I have to take responsibility for this part…” – "With your mistakes, you are harming this company."
7. “I'm sorry, I didn't understand that…” – "How could you allow this to happen?"
8. “Let's work together to fix it.” – “Fix it now!”
9. “That's an interesting thought. I will have to think about that.” – “This is a bad idea for countless reasons.”
10. “I appreciate the feedback.” – “Keep your funny ideas to yourself. We don't have time."
11. “I'm confused, but I want to understand. Please help me clarify.” – “No one asked you. Next time, keep quiet.”
