Be aware that things don't happen by themselves, everything always depends on your reaction to events, on what you actually feel at that moment.
It's easy to say "I will change my life for the better and I will do this and that!", but it's harder to actually determine what to stop doing, what to let go of in our lives in order to be a different, better version of ourselves. What must we be willing to choose, to let go of, to lose.
Pride
If you want to change your life, you have to admit what isn't working. You must humble yourself. You have to ask for help. You have to learn how to accept it. Your ego will defend your current circumstances, but don't let a fleeting sense of shame distract you from doing so. You cannot live the rest of your life as if everything is fine just because you are too proud to admit that something is wrong. Overcome your pride and step into a better life.
Emotional supports
Do you know why you haven't changed your life yet? Why are you stuck and still apologizing? Because you lean on emotional supports and the belief that there is nothing wrong with staying small, afraid, controlled and unwilling to act. These are typical symptoms that you do not want to lose what you are used to, that you do not want to leave your comfort zone. Let go of supports, become strong, self-confident.
Avoidance techniques
No matter what you do to mask the feeling that something isn't right (be it alcohol, sex, whatever), you won't be able to push it away much longer. The first step is to remove the problems you are dealing with, the second step is to listen to your feelings, your body. The third is to admit the feelings that do not make you happy and eliminate them yourself or with the help of others.
Hedonism
Living the life of your dreams very rarely involves reacting to your momentary or impulse desires. Only deeply conscious individuals understand that the pursuit of pleasure is a dead end, a path that leads only to confusion, illness, pain.
Comfort zone
Leaving your comfort zone isn't easy, and it's not just about feeling a little uncomfortable from time to time. It is like stepping into a new life in which everything is unknown. In which everything is possible! And all of this is basically scary for you. Over time, new things become your new sense of home. Always be aware that you decide where and with whom you will be comfortable.
Five-year plan
If you know where your path leads, it's probably because you're following someone else. When you truly live life on your own terms, you can plan, but you can't assume what the next few years will bring. You may not even know what the next six months will bring. Thinking that you can know exactly where life will lead you in a few years is an illusion. Don't live in an illusion, shatter it.
Your composure
If you want to change your life, you will also have to cry. Pretty much. You will have to show your emotions. Don't be afraid of your insecurities. You will need to be authentic and trade the expectation that you must always be perfect for the realization that you must be honest with yourself and others.
Recognition
What you are willing to do even when no one is watching and applauding is what you should really do in life. If you're willing to do it without applause, you're doing it for the right reasons.
Revenge
It's time to face the idea that your life could be a source of pride and not just a way to get revenge on people who bullied or belittled you. It's time to stop building your life in hopes of getting revenge on everyone who wronged you. Because this mindset of yours only exists based on what you imagine others think of you. It's just an illusion of an illusion. The best revenge is to live a happy and good life.
Inner demons
These inner demons can haunt you, but when you do the "work" they assigned to you, they become silent. Interesting, isn't it? Sometimes you decide whether to do something or not, but even though you know it's not the right decision, you do it. Was it worth it for the instant gratification? Eventually, you realize that if you continue to follow these impulses, your worst fears will come true. Why? Because you yourself will make them real. You will become someone else, you will become empty. Overcoming your darkest impulses isn't just about resisting them, it's about hearing them and making a different decision.
Finality
There are no final decisions in life, there are only paths that others have already walked and said: "This way is the right way, this way is the only way." They don't realize that living someone else's life in exchange for never feeling fear is not living. It's just an illusion. Nothing in life is guaranteed, nothing, so the best thing for you is to do what is not completely risk-free, but is worth it.
Ideas about what your life will be like
You thought you knew what your life would be like when you grew up. You fantasized about it and waited for it to happen when you grew up. And when you did, you weren't happy. Why? Because the ideas you had about your future life came from a young, naive, undeveloped person. You need to drop these shows immediately.
Attachment
Let go of the attachment to the feeling of becoming what you thought you should be. Ideas you had about your future life, ideas about what your future should be like. What will you be like when you are older, at what age will you achieve this or that thing. You owe nothing to your past, you owe it to yourself now to become who you really are.
"Whatever you seek will not come in the form you expect." – Haruki Murakami
