Never lose hope, love will come to you sooner or later.
When you're grieving a relationship breakup, you just want that seemingly never-ending emotional pain to go away. Finding love is the last thing on your mind.
You feel like you'll never be able to love anyone the way you love that person again. Your painful experience has turned you into a bitter and resentful person, into something you never were before. But you soon realize that this is not the right way. You know you have to move on with your life.
Don't know how and where to start? How to get rid of fear? How to open your heart to someone else? It's normal to ask yourself all these questions because finding love after a breakup isn't easy.
You cannot start a new relationship without forgiving yourself, healing any open wounds, and letting bygones be bygones. You could, but it wouldn't be fair to you or the person next to you. First you need to heal your wounded heart and prepare yourself for the new love that is coming.
1. Cut all ties with the past
Your main goal is to move forward. You can't expect that to happen if you stay stuck in the same place. Come to terms - your relationship is over. You and your ex are no longer together, and it's time to accept that. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can find a healthy relationship and true love.
Cutting all ties is the only way to leave your pain behind. You cannot erase the entire relationship from your memory. That would be impossible. But don't constantly think about that person and the past. If you are still in contact, cut off all contact, right now, right now. Stop deluding yourself that you can stay friends with someone who has hurt you so much.
Get rid of anything that reminds you of him. If you want to keep some small keepsakes, hide them or remove them from your view. Do not follow his profiles on social networks, do not ask mutual friends how they are doing. Don't live in the hope that one day they will knock on your door.
It doesn't matter if you got the ending you wanted, if some things were left unsaid, or if you're still looking for answers. Stop it. Cutting ties with the past hurts, but you have to come to terms with the fact that your relationship is history and it's time to pack it up and send it to an unknown address far away from you.
2. Allow yourself to grieve
Don't pretend you weren't hurt. It's the worst thing you can do at that moment. A healthy healing process involves acceptance. It means facing your pain and overcoming it instead of running for your life.
Of course, it would be easier if we could bury our trauma deep inside. Sweeping things under the rug and moving on with life as if you didn't go through the hell of disappointment and heartache sounds tempting, doesn't it? That would make things less complicated. You wouldn't have to go through the various stages of grief and could jump into a new relationship with the first person who shows up. But what would happen in the long run? Your repressed emotions would find their way back into your life.
Don't let this happen and process them in a healthy way. Allow yourself to grieve.
You are not mourning the loss of your ex, but the loss of your hopes and dreams, the end of the relationship, and the loss of the person you once were. Don't run away from your pain because that's what cowards do.
Don't feel weak if you go through this stage, and rather see it as a sign of your strength. Believe me, few people have the ability to control their darkest emotions and thoughts.
3. Release your emotions
When your heart shattered into a million pieces, it left behind a bunch of open wounds. Do not allow any of these fragments to remain within you. Let go of all the sadness that has been eating away at you.
You can do this by not holding onto your emotions - by removing them from yourself. If you feel like crying - cry. If you need some time off from your stressful workday and want to eat ice cream in front of the TV for a few days, who's to judge you? Nobody.
However, the best way to release your emotions is through writing. Don't worry you don't need talent.
A piece of paper can do a lot more than you might think. He will take all your pain and serve his purpose. Start writing and record your progress every day. Remember that no one will read this, so you can 100% be honest. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings by writing about them. It's nothing more than a coping mechanism that will help you get better.
4. Rely on your support system
You are a self-sufficient, independent individual who has gone through the worst of times alone. You don't need someone to pat you on the back and tell you everything will be okay. Besides, the last thing you want is to expose your vulnerabilities to those closest to you. After all, what exactly can they do? They can't take any pain away from you. They will only be worried and you will inadvertently drag them into your problems.
But you are wrong. Who doesn't need a real friend to call in the middle of the night?
Don't worry, none of these people will consider you a pathetic person. This is completely normal and they will understand your pain. Not only that, these people will hold your hand through all your hardships. They will show you that you are not alone and give you hope for a better tomorrow.
What about those who don't have close friends they can rely on? Are they condemned to suffer in silence? There is always the option of joining a support group full of people who have gone through the same things you are going through.
5. Remember your worth
You find the pain unbearable. You know it will eventually go away. But all this has a big impact on your confidence and self-image. And you need to start working on it right away. You doubt your worth and worry that no man or woman will ever want you again—that you're too wounded. You wonder why you weren't enough for your ex.
Your worth has nothing to do with your relationship status. Despite everything that has happened, you have a lot to offer. You still carry a loving heart in your chest - you just don't feel it right now.
6. Let time work its magic
A broken heart won't heal in a few days; sometimes this process takes several months. But eventually time will work its magic. And all you have to do is let him – give time enough. This does not mean that you should sit patiently and wait for a miracle to happen. Let your life run its course.
No one can tell how long it will be before you are ready for new love because we are all different. But it will happen. Things will get easier every day. One morning you will wake up and see that you are ready and that past traumas are no longer holding you back.
7. Be kind to yourself
You are the most important person in your life. To attract a quality woman or man, you need to be the best version of yourself. Be happy with the person you are becoming. Improve your life to be happy with yourself, with or without a partner.
This is your chance to enjoy every breath. An opportunity to find your true purpose and to learn the meaning of love - for yourself. Trust yourself, happiness attracts happiness and love attracts love. So when you're happy with yourself, potential soul mates start appearing out of nowhere. When you love yourself the right way, you will attract only those who deserve to be in your life.
8. The dating pool
If you feel you are emotionally ready, go on a date. But don't make this search for love a priority, but don't run away from it either. Open your eyes to the opposite sex. That means smiling back at that cute guy or flirting with that attractive stranger. If you've shed your emotional baggage, you're ready to date.
9. Learn from your mistakes
Analyze your past relationship mentally and emotionally. Take what happened as a lesson. The love you felt for your ex is gone. You have acquired the ability to process things objectively. Step back and observe your past as if you were a bystander.
This is the only way to look at things realistically - the only way to realize your mistakes and learn from them. Maybe you made a bad choice last time. Or you had your share of mistakes that you didn't see at the time.
Maybe your fatal mistake was giving too much without asking for anything in return. Or spent years trying to salvage a failed relationship. Whatever it was, you know better now. This devastating experience has taught you many things. Don't repeat your toxic behavior patterns. Isn't it obvious that they are leading you nowhere?
10. Don't be with someone just because you're afraid of being alone
The trap that almost all heartbroken men and women fall into when they end a painful relationship is to get into a worse one. You don't have to end your single life at all costs, and you certainly shouldn't settle for an on-again, off-again relationship.
Don't be with someone just because you're afraid of being alone or because you can't seem to find a healthy relationship. Don't look for your ex in other people, and most importantly, don't use them to heal your wounds. You know you are better than this. Why break someone's heart when you're trying to fix yours.
Be fair and just. It is better to wait until you are fully recovered before starting something new than to hurt an innocent person. Besides, such a toxic relationship will not do you any good. It won't teach you how to love again. Instead, it will bury you even more in disappointment.
11. Changing partners is not the right way
Do you really want this? Or is it your way of trying to fill the void left inside you? Jumping from one relationship to another is not the way to find love.
Go out with people you really like. Try to build something bigger with people you feel a genuine connection with—not those you're just physically attracted to.
12. Be clear about your standards
Be clear about what and who you want. This doesn't make you picky - it means you've grown as a person, and that painful experience served its purpose. You will always find something in others that you don't like.
The question is, do you feel like it's something you can handle? Is it a deal breaker that I could never come to terms with? Whatever you do, don't compromise yourself. Find the kind of person you know you deserve and never settle for anything less.
13. Hold on to hope
Never lose hope, love will come to you sooner or later. Do not be obsessed with the search, but deep down believe in its arrival. Let go of the idea that you only love once in your life. Yes, you loved your ex - otherwise they wouldn't have had the chance to break your heart. However, this does not mean that you will never love again with the same intensity or even more.
Maybe your ex-partner was your soul mate at that moment, but that doesn't mean they were meant for you for a long-term relationship. Don't give up on love, despite all the disappointments. Love is beautiful and why should you give it up just because you had one painful experience.
14. Not everyone looks like your ex
Comparing everything to your ex will get you nowhere. Getting over the person doesn't mean you've gotten over the fear of pain. If you let negativity cloud your mind, your overthinking can ruin your potential relationship. No one can guarantee you that a new man or woman will not break your heart. But you won't let them do it this time.
You are no longer the person you once were. Now you have the opportunity to recognize the warning signs in time and walk away from people who would harm you. Besides, you can't predict the future. Sometimes you have to take risks and follow your heart.
If things fail again, at least you'll know you tried. You will be proud of your courage to take risks and jump into the unknown despite your painful past.
15. Invest your maximum
Don't let your past ruin your future, and don't let your new partner pay for the mistakes of your ex. Enjoy every moment of your new romance, surrender to love and see where the magic takes you!
