"Love one another, but do not make bonds out of love; rather let the sea roll between the shores of your souls." - Kahlil Gibran
Is it enough for the two partners to be connected on an emotional, physical or intellectual level for a successful relationship? Is everything really that simple? Are we overcomplicating and not focusing on simplicity? Are we perhaps so ambitious that we always want everything?
For a successful relationship, it is enough that they are connected in two of these three ways. Can you be happy with two out of three? And which of these methods are you willing to ignore?
So be honest with yourself and find out what is most important to you.
Emotional connection
At the level of emotional connection, everything is out in the open. You are exposed and vulnerable, and rightly so, because the world is real and you are real. It takes a lot of courage to open up completely and expose yourself in front of your partner. Such a relationship operates in complete trust. You need to know that your partner will not abuse your vulnerability and will not intentionally hurt you. This connection allows them to feel each other, know what's on someone's mind and react intuitively to their partner's needs. Understanding on a deeper level doesn't require explanations, just listening and confirming that you are there for each other.
If this is not a priority for you, it does not mean that there is no stability in your relationship. It is possible to listen and empathize without paying particular attention to this level of connection. It is possible to have a healthy relationship even if one of you is open and carries your heart in the palm of your hand and the other is closed and quiet. You can communicate and share everything you need for a successful partnership without going into deep analysis. You can share joys and worries with your partner without a deep emotional connection - at the level of friendship, care and support.
An intellectual connection
Is it most important to you that you have the same values and attitudes? To read and discuss the same books? That you experience art and culture in the same way, that you are mentally stimulated by the same things? In this case, it is important that you appreciate your partner's intelligence and way of thinking, and he yours, and that you find inspiration, fulfillment and satisfaction in the intellectual connection.
If you lack this aspect of the relationship, one of you might soon get bored because you won't have much to talk about. If you have different tastes and different aesthetic values, this can be a stumbling block and create dissonance due to the feeling that you are on a higher level than your partner, or that he thinks you are on a lower level. However, if you do not need this kind of connection and emotional warmth and physical intimacy are more important to you, you will be able to enjoy your partner's "philosophizing". In other words, you will fulfill your intellectual needs independently of your partner.
Physical connection
Some say that when you're connected on a physical level, it's an indication that you belong together. Relationship is created through physical intimacy and is an important aspect of a relationship - for many the most important. It's not just about sex, it's about physical closeness that includes expressions of tenderness, caresses, hugs and kisses – signs of belonging.
We can have sex without expressing a deeper intimate connection, and it is possible to have a deep intimate connection without sex. No matter how important this aspect of a relationship is, and that it is often considered the basis of a relationship, experience tells us that nothing can be built, maintained and improved on this basis, so it is not so unusual if this aspect is not so important to you . And if it's missing, you're still happy in your relationship.
All three levels
Of course, you want to find someone you connect with on all three levels, and this seems ideal. Although it seems that this should not be difficult, it is rare that all three stages are met.
Are you ready to choose what you can do without? Don't you want to give up anything? Is just the whole package of love good enough for you?
