Finding out that your partner has cheated on you can cause feelings of anger, sadness, hurt, and even physical pain. The question that will arise the second the information reaches us will be "Why?".
Various studies have dealt with the answer to this question, and one of them identified eight key factors that lead to infidelity. Of course, they cannot be applied to every case of fraud, but they can serve as a useful framework for better understanding.
Why your partner cheats:
1. out of anger or revenge
2. because he fell in love
3. because of the opportunity
4. due to relationship problems
5. due to an unmet need
6. because of sexual desire
8. due to the desire for variety
9. due to low self-esteem
If there is one important conclusion to be drawn from this study, it is that cheating is very common often has nothing to do with the other person. Many people cheat on their partners, without wanting to hurt them.
However, cheating is very damaging to relationships. Sometimes partners get over cheating, but sometimes it means the end of the relationship.
If you are a person who has been scammed, there are a few things to keep in mind. Marriage counselors often share their observations and various advice related to love relationships. So they point out 3 things, which everyone who has been cheated on should hear and know.
1. You are not guilty of fraud and you did not deserve it.
If the other party blames you for the fraud, so-called gaslighting occurs. A case of a type of psychological manipulation, in which the bully manipulates information in such a way that the victim begins to doubt himself. In the case of fraud, the party who cheated does everything to avoid responsibility.
If you blame yourself for cheating, you need to understand that you are doing it because you feel in control - if you are guilty of cheating, you can do something to prevent it from happening again. However - it's not your fault.
2. It's quite clear why you have a hard time trusting anyone after you've been cheated on.
It's cheating traumatic experience and the connection you thought you had with someone is broken. The person you cared about ended up causing you a lot of pain. But love is often the same danger and it's normal to feel like you won't be able to never trust anyone again. Although it will take time, the wounds will heal.
3. It's okay to decide to stay with your partner and try to resolve the issue.
Many people after scams stay together and if you have made such a decision yourself, it is important to know that you have done nothing wrong. The fact is that love it's not something that goes away, when the cheating happens, and there are probably a lot of good things still going on in your relationship.
Photo: Cottonbro/Pexels
It's easy to tell other people that you are they deserve better, to be deceived again. However, relationships are much more complicated than that, and there is a connection that doesn't just disappear. You are the one who has the right to decide, whether you want to give the relationship another chance or not, regardless of what people around you think.
