The arrival of a new family member in the relationship not only brings joy and trouble at night, intimate relationships also change. Passion and lust hide and parenthood begins, that's right, even without sex.
When Anna, the comedian, is not playing with her children or changing diapers, she hosts a fun show blog, which describes the daily challenges of motherhood and parenthood.
In one of them, she shared a witty guide to sex after the baby arrives.
1. Get away from me!
This phase starts as soon as you feel the first contractions and doesn't end until you start sleeping for at least five hours. When your labia are burning, you're changing your panties four times a night, and you're sweating, it's hard to believe that sex actually put you in this situation.
Unfortunately, there's a good chance your partner will also find these panties attractive and have the energy for more. If this happens to you, I suggest you show him some pretty graphic birth photos, and I guarantee they will kill the sex drive of even a horny man!
2. Sex takes up too much time
After about six months, there is a chance that a woman may want to have sex again. You remember it being fun and enjoyable, but at this point in parenting when you haven't slept more than five hours straight - you can't even think of doing anything at night other than brushing your teeth and crawling into bed and sleeping.
On the other hand, your partner may already be wondering why it's taking so long to get back into your intimate story. If so, I suggest you pull out those photos again or get him some good adult movies to watch while you sleep.
3. I would try again!
Your baby is finally sleeping through the night, you're starting to shower regularly, and you're getting used to your postpartum body. You feel attractive again. You wax your legs, drink a glass of wine, and realize that your breasts are no longer so full of milk. This is an important step in your relationship, as there is no longer a chance that milk will start spraying in all directions, including your partner's eyes.
However, when the intimate stuff finally starts happening, you realize how painful it still is down there and decide it's better to slow down and try again another time, when you might drink a little more alcohol and possibly take some more painkillers , to reduce pain.
4. Reacquaintance with an old friend, sexuality
You've gotten used to having a baby. You have a schedule, a routine. The child sleeps for some time during the day and all night. You are slowly becoming more and more like your old self. You and your partner can already spend some time together - alone, and go out for a drink or a romantic dinner here and there. You've made it through your first few attempts at intercourse after giving birth, your lady parts want more, and suddenly sex is amazing again!
You can't believe it took you so long to be intimate again just because you gave birth and were tired! Are you wondering what happened to you?! At that moment, you and your partner decide it's time for a lot more sex.
5. I could have another baby!
When you can enjoy a glass of wine in the evening without a guilty conscience and sleep all night, you think it's a good idea. Why don't we try? If nothing else, we'll have a lot of sex, which is great! You should definitely get pregnant again. Babies are so cute and sweet, wouldn't it be great to have another baby? Don't worry, the second one will be much easier. Now take off your pants!
Or remember everything again - from contractions to childbirth... and conclude: “Sex is great, but sleeping through the night is also great. We need a condom!”
