"Forgiveness is the privilege of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi
Let go of the baggage of the past, forgive others and especially yourself.
But before you forgive others, think about what the word and the act of forgiveness means to you. Are you ready to let go?
1. They don't need to forgive you for letting you down and hurting you if you're not ready
Some find peace in forgiving others because it helps them sleep better at night. Maybe you're not there yet. Maybe you never will. Everyone processes their heartaches differently, so you shouldn't feel pressured to forgive someone who has hurt you. However, you also cannot allow yourself to keep all this inside. You have to accept what happened to you and move on - without them in your life.
2. Forgiveness doesn't mean you'll suddenly be friends again
You may realize why this person treated you so badly. You may now understand their thought process. You may even be able to forgive them for causing you so much pain. But you must keep in mind that the act of forgiveness does not involve anything else. You can forgive this person without allowing them back into your world. Without giving her another chance, or letting her know that everything is fine between you now. Forgiving them of their past mistakes doesn't mean you want to keep them around and wait for them to make the same mistakes again.
3. Forgiving someone doesn't mean the way they treated you was okay
Just because you found it in your heart to forgive doesn't mean you overreacted the first time. It doesn't mean you suddenly realized it was stupid to be angry. And it certainly doesn't mean that others can keep repeating the same bad behavior. It means you were kind enough to forgive them. They should try to become better people in the future.
4. Forgiveness is not always enough
Before you forgive someone for hurting you, you may continue to try to make the relationship work with that person. Ask yourself if you REALLY don't mind what they did to you? Can you really put this behind you or will you be okay with continuing the relationship? Sometimes, even if genuine, forgiveness is not enough. Sometimes things will never be the same again because the dynamics of the relationship between you have changed. Your trust has been broken. This person showed you a side of you that you never knew existed.
5. It is also important to forgive yourself
It is good if you can forgive those who have hurt you and move on without any hatred, bitterness or resentment. But you also need to focus on forgiving your past mistakes. As long as you've learned something from what went wrong, and as long as you're trying to do better in the future, you should also be kinder to yourself. We should also forgive ourselves, not just others.
